Finding your purpose, life dreams, what do you want to be when you grow up, what should you do with your life, how to live on purpose, what is your calling, what to do with your life next.
We can phrase it many ways but it all comes down to owning what YOU WANT YOUR LIFE TO BE and FEEL LIKE.
But why is this so hard for us?
Why are we, as adult women, asking these questions? Shouldn’t we know by now?
I know it was hard for me because I didn’t see I had control over this. I wasn’t taking the driver’s seat to my own life. I had lived my life reacting to my days, doing what was culturally expected of me, not really asking any questions.
Then I was hit with this realization that I could hit reset on it. I could live in a different way. I could set out my OWN path.
So, what would my own path be?
And once I dug into that….
how would I make this all happen???
I had to face this question and get messy with the process of changing my current default life into the one I WANTED. It was long and hard and SO SO WORTH IT.
Friends, knowing what you want and living it into action is a PROCESS. Your whole life may have been on autopilot and it takes practice and time and commitment to re-route your thoughts, your heart and your actions.
This process has five steps:
Figuring your own self out
I started this by decluttering my home and coming face to face with the false identities I was building up. I see how I wasn’t sure about who I really was. Or I was covering up that part of me with other identities.
I thought I *should* own skiis because I lived somewhere with lots of snow (I don’t like skiing). I thought I *should* keep these books I never read but probably should so I can seem knowledgable. I thought I *should* have seven styles of white shirts so I could be a fashion chameleon who always fit in with whatever crowd I was with.
I had to give myself permission to be someone who does simply not enjoy certain hobbies or decor or activities. For instance, you can be someone who says “I have no interest in beach volleyball, or scrapbooking, or pickling asparagus.” You are allowed!
Figuring yourself out means stripping away the layers you have built up. It is getting really honest with yourself and listening closer to yourself and your own preferences. It is letting people think you are weird or whatever. But it is you being the closest version to the woman you ARE instead of the woman you try to portray.
Listening closely to the desires and dreams you have.
Over the years, I see that we have a problem giving ourselves permission to have desires and dreams.
We don’t generate it in ourselves.
- We don’t make room to dream and play.
- We are putting judgements or labels on what we desire. For instance, we feel frivolous or selfish trying new hobbies or being creative in little ways.
- We might have been burnt in the past and aren’t open to doing it again.
- We don’t have enough experience listening close to ourselves so we don’t trust that voice within.
- We are afraid we will look stupid or ‘fail’.
- We don’t feel qualified. We think others can chase dreams but for some reason, we aren’t qualified.
- We look to others to give us permission to do it. Maybe we spend a lot of our life waiting to be called up to the plate.
- We are just so overwhelmed with the season of life that we are in that we just don’t know how to even make it possible!
What reasons stop you from tapping into your own dreams?
I am preaching! LISTEN TO YOUR HEART FELLOW WOMEN! And I don’t just mean for those big giant dreamy ideas you have of trailing across the country with your family in an RV. I mean listening on the daily to WHAT YOU WANT. What do you want today? To get outside? A hug? A call with a friend?
A lesson I have learned the hard way: when I don’t listen to myself, nobody else really listens to me either.