How to get that feeling (why values matter + free LIVE YOUR VALUES worksheet)


In my years of pursuing ‘life on purpose’, I have tried a lot of tactics to GET ‘THAT’ FEELING. 

You know, feeling vibrant and buzzy and shiny. That feeling you get when you LOVE what you are doing and are so excited to be in that moment. Maybe it is singing on stage, maybe it is crossing the finish line,  maybe it is designing a new living room space, maybe it is editing photos, maybe it is making a new spreadsheet. 

I’m sure you know what I mean. You have those things you love to do because THEY LIGHT YOU UP.

We talk a lot about vision and goals, they are great,  but they aren’t the thing that lights you up.

If you start listening to these things that light you up you will see a theme. 

The theme isn’t the THINGS you love to do. The theme is WHO YOU GET TO BE when you are doing the things. 

WHO YOU GET TO BE = YOUR VALUES. 

 

WHAT ARE VALUES?

‘Values’ seem like a stuffy and corporate word, but they are the core of you. 

Values are the qualities you long to live by – the characteristics that you feel are vital to living your life well and true.

We use our values to guide our decisions because we identify with them deeply. Our personal values are a compass for the life we want to live. Our values are HOW WE SHOW UP. When we live in line with our values we show up in the way that feels empowering and vibrant….shiny. 

If we are going to pursue LIFE ON PURPOSE, and set some vision and goals, we need to get rooted in who we want to be along the way, and how we want to show up. 

 

WHEN WE DON’T HONOUR OUR VALUES

On a daily basis, we have opportunities to live in line with our values. When we aren’t living a life that is reflective of our values, of our core identity, it feels inauthentic and frustrating.

For example, you might have the values of peace, simplicity and beauty. It would be important for you to live out these values in how you use your space, time, money, resources, and energy. If you lived in a cluttered space with a hectic schedule and rarely took time to create beauty in your environment then you would be living so contrary to your personal values that you would have this constant frustration with your life. 

When we don’t honour our values we can feel this uncomfortable tension. There is a way we WANT to be living, and then the way we are actually showing up. They are different and it feels uncomfortable and negative.

Here is where many of us can start a downward spiral.

We feel this tension and we don’t want to FEEL this tension. But often we don’t turn back to our values – we just turn to the easiest way to ‘feel better’.  In fact, we are probably doing some self-destructive things to get some ‘good feelings’ in our life and it is not helping us move to the life we actually want.

This tension, this anxiety that we feel, can make us feel like something is wrong with us, or our relationships, or our life.

We aren’t broken. We have just been on autopilot. We haven’t been paying attention to ourselves or what we want or how we want to get it.

HOW DID WE LOSE THIS CONNECTION TO OUR VALUES?

There are three problems we might run into when it comes to honouring our values;

The first is that we might not even really know our values. We might not have taken the time to ask the question or listen to our hearts for what is important to us. We just don’t even know.

The second is that we might be hustling for values that aren’t even true to us, they are someone else’s. Perhaps we have adopted the values of our parents or coworkers without stopping to sift through what we feel reflects us and what we feel is handed down to us. 

The third problem is when we know our values but we lose touch with them. Somewhere along the way, our connection to them has been interrupted. Maybe it was a big life change like motherhood, maybe it was a tough season like schooling or moving, maybe it was a loss of someone dear to us. 

Whatever the reason is that we are disconnected from our values – I hope you feel the importance of taking the time to explore your own and start using them to help you show up for your life in a way that empowers and motivates you. 

 

The Life on Purpose Workbook devotes a section to this exercise but I wanted to share a worksheet with your here to help you get started. 

This worksheet will give you examples of personal values, some questions to help you edit your list to make sure it is true to you, and space to start brainstorming ways to LIVE YOUR VALUES. 

Sign up below to have the worksheet emailed to you!