75. How to hygge when you are a busy mom (and it isn’t about socks and candles)

Have you heard of hygge? It is the Danish word that embodies the sentiments of being cozy, connected and content. If you look it up on Pinterest you will see a lot of cozy spaces full of things like flickering candles, a lovely throw, some fuzzy socks. 

These all make a space feel cozier, but it takes more than that to experience hygge. 

I want to share three mindsets that will help you shift right into hygge and have that cozy, connected and content experience in your daily life. 

You may have heard me talk about hygge before in this episode where I compared it with minimalism and how the two were different and similar. If I lean one way, it is probably towards hygge. But perhaps that is because I have done all the decluttering already and my home feels simpler. 

But this Enneagram Type 9 especially loves hygge because of its focus on equality, balance, simplicity and contentment. 

  • If you want to add more hygge into your life this fall and winter then get yourself the FREE calendar on 30 days of hygge (get it here)
  • If you love to look at hygge inspiration check out my Pinterest board

And since we are entering fall and we love to have cozy spaces in our home, let’s get out homes ready with the Simplify for Fall Challenge (sign up here). 

It is so helpful to clear out your space and reset your home before Thanksgiving and Christmas take over our living space. And if you are prepping for Christmas already, check out the Simple Christmas Planner right here. This is the 2020 updated version! 


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 Full transcript of this episode

Friends at Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend, and life coach from simple on purpose.ca. I am a Canadian mom in small town, Canada. I’m a mom of three cool kids.

I am a life coach at the Life on Purpose Academy, and I also do one on one life coaching. And you probably know me if you’ve hung around the Simple on Purpose blog at all. So welcome. I’m so glad you’re here. The whole goal around this show is to give you just a quick check in with yourself on the things that matter to you and the things you want in your life. So we’re going to remove the distractions that we’re going to simplify, and we’re going to show up on purpose. That’s our mission. And one of my favorite ways to show up in my home in my life is hygge and hygge is that Danish word? It’s spelled H Y G G E I needed. It’s the Danish word that embodies that sense of connectedness and coziness. And you’ve probably seen pictures of fuzzy socks and candles and tea with steam coming out of it.

It’s so cozy. It’s so darn cozy. So I heard about this a few years ago, and I just love pinning pins about it. And if you’ve been on Pinterest, you probably seen the trend, the coffee mugs, the cozy blankets, a lot of Scandinavian inspired touches, but I want to encourage you that hygge is not a decor trend or a shopping list of cozy things to bring into your home, those help, but at his core, hygge v is a mindset. So over the centuries, the Danish people have embraced hygge as a way of life. They’ve brought these values into their daily life. And since they focus on making their long dark winter, an especially hygge time they’ve incorporated these things, quote unquote, things, stuff that we see as a representation of what hygge is, but it’s not about the stuff who God is about. Sitting with your friends around a candle at the table sharing a simple snack before it’s ever about the candles.

And what’s on the table. It’s about cuddling in a cozy blanket with a fan with the family for a movie before it’s ever about the texture and textiles and a couch scape. That just looks so inviting. It’s about sitting alone in the morning, enjoying the view out the window with a warm cup of coffee before it’s ever about the cute mug and the fuzzy socks and the steam coming off the mug. So it’s not a decor trend. It’s a mindset you bring into your daily life. And you may have heard me talk more about this in episode 38, all linked to that in the show notes I compare hygge versus minimalism. And what I want you to really remember is that hookah is the invitation to gather the beauty of simple things, the heart of conversation and the details of hospitality. So I want to give you three ways, three mindsets that you bring into your everyday life.

And these are so great. If you feel like you’re really busy, you’re really rushed as a family. These are really great mindsets to just keep, maybe write them down on your fridge and just check in with yourself once in a while and say, how can I do these things right now? So the first one I want to talk to you about is slow down for coziness. I know slowing down, right? We just are a culture that is, is obsessed with busy and we idolize busy, but a value that the Danish people have is work life balance. So there isn’t as much hustling and busy-ness in hygge. I always just want to call it HI-GGG, I’m sorry if I do that accidentally, just know what I mean. Anyways, slowing down is just an important part of hygge because it allows you to just stop, enjoy where you are, what you are doing, who you are with the art of slowing down is an investment in space, as well as time.

When you slow down, you can become aware of the space you are in and invest in making sure you’re oasis. It also allows you to make time in your day to bring in hobbies and socializing things. You find enjoyable, the things that actually matter to you, and you would just, you feel like you never have time for, and you’re like, but I just really want to hang out with my friends or hang out with my kids, slow down for those cozy moments. The next mindset is to keep it simple for contentment. So Scandinavian decor has had its heyday. And I, I really liked the aspect that it’s been adopted over centuries and maintained all of this time because it’s simple using simple things, simple ingredients in baking, simple supplies and crafting simple materials and decor. These are markers of hygge because it represents being content with and making the best of what you do have.

And if you have been around simple on purpose at all, you know, I’m a big fan of simplifying your space because simplifying helps you find more contentment. When you take away the excess and you filter out what you do not love or do not use, you realize that you don’t need so much, and you become more aware of what you do have in your life and your space. It really helps you to just appreciate what’s there.

The simple things, simple gatherings, simple hobbies, simple pleasures, simple activities. These all make space for contentment to grow. The final mindset is to show up for connectedness. The Danish culture is one that values, equality, where everyone table has an equal say. And I think in North America, this is something that we don’t readily adopt. We think the children are down here, sit at the kids’ table.

The adults are in charge. They value the smaller gatherings where meaningful conversations can be had more easily. Hygge means making a point of me meeting up for coffee, gathering around the dinner table, sitting with your spouse each night to enjoy one another’s company. In North America we live in a culture where it’s so easy to isolate yourself and just socialize online. And maybe our brain thinks that it actually is connecting, but often it’s not quite. We think that we can counteract our need for connectedness by attending the odd, great, big gathering, where we some greet some attendance and then head home. But if we want more hygge we need to show up for conversations. We need to ask others to show up and gather with us, give our full attention to the people in conversations around us. So I hope these three mindsets really helped you to embrace slowly down, finding contentment with what’s simple and opening up yourself to connection, to connecting with the people around you.

The people you love, just getting a little bit quiet and deeper. This is, this is the heart of hygge cozy, connected content. So beautiful. I just love it. Of course, the type nine Enneagram type nine would love it. Right? Of course. So I do want to let you know also about a couple of fun things that are happening and you can go to the show notes for all of this. The first thing is you can get a free printable, 30 days of hygge. This is so great for fall. So great for winter. And if you are in Canada, like me, you know, winter is coming. It’s such a bad joke. I’m sorry. It’s so overused, but it is like we’re into October and we know the snow is going to come soon. And we are going to be kind of, we’ll be embracing winter until December, probably till Christmas, but then we need something really exciting.

We need some things in our day to embrace winter, look forward to winter. So get that free printable, 30 days to hygge. And the other thing that I’m going to be doing in the next couple of weeks is the simplify for fall challenge. It’s one week we spend together simplifying our space and it just is like a nice refresh come into the next season. So stop by the show notes for a link to that as well. And if you are like me and you’re already planning your Christmas lists, and you’re starting to order things because mail takes forever, then you might be interested in the simple ms. Planner. It was out last year and I have updated it and made it a bit better for printing and revise the content inside. And this is the planner is going to take you through all of the aspects of having a simple Christmas on purpose.

And it’s written by a life coach it’s written by me. So there’s a lot of setting your intention, getting really clear on the vision and values you have for it. There are conversations you can have with your family. And it’s a, it’s a big planner. You don’t have to use the whole thing. Just use the parts that are really important to you this year. So you can stop by the link in the show notes and check that out as well. If you are interested. All right, guys, this was it’s a quick bonus episode. I wanted to come in, share a little bit of hygge with you and encourage you to keep these mindsets in your daily life. Simplify, slow down, and show up, man. I think I just found my new tagline, the podcast. All right, guys, I love spending this time with you. I would love to hear from you.

If you are a listener, I really love to see your name. See your face, hear your comments. The best way to do that is to leave me a review on iTunes, your reviews matter. They matter to iTunes. They let iTunes know that I’m legit and they don’t have to keep my podcast down in the, in the basement, in the dusty basement. They can let people see it. So stop by iTunes, leave a review. Here’s a recent one from my girl, Holly. So relatable. I love this podcast and her blog, simple on purpose. She has an easy way of sharing and putting into words, things that I’m trying to process and didn’t even realize it. So thankful for finding this. And I am thankful for you, Holly. I’m so glad you left me that. Thank you, girl. All right, guys. Have a great week.


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