How should a 30 something-year-old dress?
I have asked this question for some years as I decluttered my closet and focussed on creating a closet of clothes I love to wear. I don’t want it to be the latest trends, but the clothes I enjoy and feel like ‘me’.
I’m not a fashion blogger but when the memes went around this month making fun of millennial moms who wear skinny jeans and side parts I felt like I wanted to encourage other millennial moms to focus on building up a closet of clothes they LOVE to wear and not what Gen Z tells us is ‘in’ right now.
Millennial Mom vs Trendy Youth
- What being a ‘trendy’ youth is all about. Playing with clothes to see what you like and learn more about yourself
- What being a millennial mom is all about. Knowing more of who you are and making choices in line with that
How to declutter and create a closet of clothes you love
- Declutter the items you don’t love to wear, torn, unused, etc.
- Then start a pinboard of looks you love
- Look for a theme in what you are pinning
- Name your style (bring it to the Simple on Purpose Group if you want help with that)
- Use this style as your guide for what you buy/bring into your closet
- Don’t focus on trends, focus on what your style is and what you feel great in
Mentioned in this episode
The Instagram of me being a totally unfun anxious mom on a family walk
Bring your ideas and conversation to the Facebook group
FULL TRANSCRIPT OF THIS EPISODE
This is the podcast for anyone who wants to simplify their homes, feel overwhelmed by clutter? – their heart. Do you feel like you’re just kind of angry and resentful all the time? And their life – Do you feel like you’re busy, you’re on the go, you’re just reacting to things. This is a place where I want to help you simplify those things so that you can have the time and space and energy to show up well for the things that matter the most to you in your life.
So this past weekend, we’ve had a four day weekend as a family, it was a pro D day Valentine’s Day family day here in BC, British Columbia. So I take I took four days off work It was so it was weird. But it also felt really good. And we just took our time playing games and puzzles, and going skating and going for walks. And maybe you caught my recent Instagram post about the walk that broke my brain, you can go check that out there. If you want to see just a lovely ball of anxiety that I can sometimes be with my family. And it was a great time. It was great overall, I mean, there’s good parts and there’s hard parts every single day. So we just keep going, we keep rolling with it.
Alright, so one thing I want to remind you guys of is to leave a review, leave a review in your podcast player, because the podcast player loves them gives us authority in the podcast player. And I really love to read them. I love it when I come across one and especially if I recognize the name, but I didn’t recognize this name from Australia. HealwithmeAIP. I loved your thoughtful review. So thank you so much. I read it over breakfast and I told my husband this morning, someone called me quirky. And he’s like, What? That’s not weird. Like, hasn’t that happened before? Like you are quirky and I was like, Oh, okay. And I kind of laughed as I reflected on it because I used to want to define my personal style as quirky French girl. So you totally call me out on this secret byline I’m trying to promote. And I’m going to talk about naming your style later because I want to talk about style and dressing like you’re 30 Okay, I’m 38 but come on – this is for everyone in their 30s or whatever dressing like you’re 30
So I had other episodes planned, but this meme has taken over the internet conversation. And it applies to most of the women born in the 80s. So a discussion broke out on tik tok about which hair part looks best. Okay, first of all, not on Tik Tok. I just rely on on my Instagram friends to share their tic toks on there. But this Tick Tock conversation was about which part looks best in the youths of the world on Tik Tok said side parts are for old people and they look dated. And then these meme started going around of being a millennial and being this dated woman, the stated mom with your side parts and your skinny jeans and your hysterical laughing emoji. Okay, Joke’s on them because I use the grimacing face emoji the most like. So it’s a battle between Gen Zed, who were born between the mid 90s and the 2010s. Telling the millennials, those born between 1981 and 1996, that they are dated and out of trend.
To which I say, ‘So what?’
Like remember when you were a kid, and your friend’s moms were like, dressed up for whatever church I don’t know, like whatever event and they looked nice, but you would never want to wear their shoulder-padded plaid blazer like you probably did recently. But you didn’t want to then or you didn’t want to feather your hair and comb it over to the side like them.
You didn’t expect them to be on trend. You just played around with your baby T’s and your zigzag part. And you were just feeling free and self expressive. And like Drew Barrymore with her pencil thin eyebrows. You were rocking it, you were a vibrant, young thing. You weren’t worried about other older women. And if they were on trend or not, they were they looked fine, right.
A few years back, I noticed a woman at my church and she’s a friend’s mom, and she dresses nice, and it’s nothing super trendy. It’s just nice, like her clothes flatter her. She looks like she keeps them good, good care of them. And I felt like that’s the direction I want to go in.
I’m sick of trying to figure out trends and how to wear crop tops and you’re 30 I don’t have time to crack that algorithm. I thought I just wanted to dress like I’m a 30 something-year-old woman. How does a 30 something year old woman dress? I started to ask myself this.
And I felt like I was at a good place to start asking this question because over the past years, I had worked on undoing the decade of the mess I put my closet and my style and my wardrobe into so I’m going to give you a few steps on how I did that. So I started with decluttering my clothes got rid of things that were like old, stained, ripped, didn’t fit me.
And really my big criteria is, I don’t love wearing it. If I don’t love wearing it, if I don’t naturally reach for it, it’s gone. I’m gonna let it go.
So as I started decluttering my clothes, I was learning also more about dressing myself because I’m paying attention to what I’m editing out what I feel like I like to wear, if I put something on and it like bunches up and it’s I have to twist it around. It’s like this. Like it’s burning calories just to wear it, then I’m gonna put it aside and let it go.
The other thing I did is part of that process when they was I started painting outfits I loved on Pinterest. So go get on Pinterest, make a Pinterest board, you can keep it private or not. And start pinning things you love. Any styles.
And then once you’ve done that, you can look for a theme. What is the theme here? What style of pants do I pin opt in what patterns what colors, you’re going to notice that there is a theme here. And the step I took then is I went into a Facebook group where people were helping with this. And I showed them my Pinterest pins in my board. And they named my style. I thought that was so fun. And at that time, the name that they had given me was quirky French girl, or whimsical nerd though. These days, I’m more like what loves goes well with joggers and fuzzy socks. So so we’re gonna adapt, we’re going to be flexible to those seasons of life with what our style is.
But that was such a fun thing to do. Because it gave me this like mental theme of when I was looking at clothes in the store. I was like, yeah, that’s kind of like my theme or no, no, that is so not like that’s just a trend. And it’s not actually in line with where my closet is going. So I used this theme to start selecting items. And I found myself appreciating certain trends, but just more I’m looking for the items that feel like me that feel like something I want to wear for many years.
So that theme just giving that name to it is kind of like how you would give an decor theme in your house like are you boho chic Are you moodern? like when you have this overall vision, it’s really easy to know what’s going to fit that instead of just buying all of the things all of the trends, right?
So over time, I feel like I have created a closet of clothes I love to wear and maybe it’s small to some maybe it’s a lot I don’t really care. And what I care about, is I have clothes I like and there’s some I’ll probably declutter over the seasons, but I like my clothes. That was my goal.
Meanwhile, back on tik tok, aka a Facebook post that my friend posted. Hi, Marie, for sharing the outside world with me. They started to insinuate that skinny jeans were something that dated millennial women and I thought, Oh, I like my skinny jeans.
Just like my friend’s mom loved her pencil skirt and her broaches and just like my grandma loves her sensible slacks and permed hair, like will jeans be the fashion icon marking our generation. I mean, we’ve been hurt so much over the years. I don’t see how they could be.
But I’m not going to bat for skinny jeans, okay, they’re part of my wardrobe. But I like lots of types of clothes, I’d really like to own more palazzo pants if I’m being honest.
But I will go to bat for being 38 and not wanting to dress like I’m 20 I don’t want to look 20 I want to look 38.
And that means freeing myself from the need to fit in, which is where trends and style differ from one another, I look at a lot of women and women of all ages. And I think oh, they have their own style. like they’ve taken their time to choose those clothes, they’ve learned how to dress their body, like what works for them. And you can see their uniqueness shining through. And then there are women and I was one for most of my late 20s who would just go for the trends. They don’t always flatter, but they’re on trend. So you just keep paying for the latest trend and you can make it work, it’s gonna feel fun, maybe just not sustainable in my opinion.
So when I was chasing trends in my late 20s, and I use this phrase generously hashtag Not A fashion blogger. But I bought what was trendy. I spent all the money, tried all the looks. And I think this is what being a youth is about trying things, see what you like, because we spend our youth trying so hard to be like everyone else. And then the rest of our 20s and 30s uncovering what makes us unique, what ourselves are like underneath all of that. And fashion can be a great exercise in this. try things out see what you like this is our motto at dinner, take a bite, see what you like.
So I don’t have this desire to look like everyone else I want to look like me at 38 and that means staying open, open to what I feel good in open to the looks I like open to letting myself feel good and what I wear and having my own back and maybe I’ll leave my skinny jeans over time. Remember those palazzo pants? We’re gonna probably get more of those soon. I’ll probably never do a middle part right down that middle because I mean, that relies on face symmetry, not coolness. Okay? Youths, you will see that science wins over useful ideas and trends.
This isn’t just a rant about Gen Zed not liking our skinny jeans. This is encouragement that you can have a closet you love regardless of trends. Whatever you want fashion to look like for you. I just encourage you to embrace the you part of it. Do you want to talk more about this? Bring your ideas, your comments, your questions over to the simple on purpose Facebook community group.
I’d love to chat with you there. And you know what, just let me flip it over to you for a moment. If I had, like romantic background music, I’d play it right now. Because you you listening. Thanks, friend. I’m so glad you’re here. This week. I was so thrilled to see this podcast as number 27 on Apple, Canada parenting podcasts. It’s because of you. So thank you for listening. And thank you for sharing with your friends. Thank you for taking me on Instagram and thanks for all of the great ideas and all of the encouragement you send right back at me. I’m so glad you’re here. Part of the simple on purpose community.