Choose Your Discomfort (life coach advice on making uncomfortable change in your life)

This is part life coaching advice and part encouragement to declutter (or make any other uncomfortable change in your life). 

(Transcribed from Episode 24 of the Simple Saturdays Podcast)

RECOGNIZING THAT CHANGE IS UNCOMFORTABLE

When we’re at a stage in our lives where we’re feeling restless or like things aren’t proper and we think “I want to get healthier”, “I want to declutter my home”, “I want to fix my marriage”, but there is a lot of discomfort in actually making that thing happen.

Maybe it’s exercise and saying no to your bad eating habits. Those are uncomfortable things to be putting your body through.

Maybe it’s the decluttering process and the discomfort that comes with physical labour and upheaving your house and boxes everywhere.  Sorting through it and getting items out and getting them to new places.

Or maybe it’s the discomfort of healing and strengthening your marriage and seeing your actions in the mirror and seeing what you’re responsible for and letting your husband see those vulnerable sides of you that you are struggling with and owning it and trying to make a change.

These are all uncomfortable things and I say them because I have been through every single one of these things.

ON THE OTHER SIDE OF CHANGE

But I want to encourage you about what is on the other side of uncomfortable. What is on the other side of having a house that feels clear, of having a body that feels strong, of having a marriage that feels like a safe, loving place to be.

NOT CHANGING IS ALSO UNCOMFORTABLE

Now, where you are now is uncomfortable.

Yes, it is uncomfortable to be unhealthy, to feel tired, to feel weak.

It is uncomfortable to have a cluttered home and feel like it’s messy and overwhelming, and it’s just so much more than you can handle.

It is uncomfortable to have big difficulties looming over your head in your marriage, feeling that tension and resentment.

Doing the work is also uncomfortable.

So here is the slogan I have for you. It’s something I use for my self too and my coaching clients. Choose your discomfort. Choose.

CHOOSE YOUR DISCOMFORT

Do you want to sit here in the discomfort of staying in it, of status quo, of things the way they are? Or do you want the discomfort of doing the work and working through it, to the other side?

Because what it all comes down to, you are uncomfortable either way. Your worst case scenario is already happening when you stay right where you are. We think that change is going to be a big scary thing but what’s happening right now probably feels big and scary to you and you don’t know the way out of it. And it is uncomfortable.

KNOW WHICH DISCOMFORT YOU ARE CHOOSING

I have written about discomfort before and about showing up for your life and how it means to be comfortable with discomfort. And I know that this is getting confusing because I’m using comfort in a lot of variations but I’ll give you something to move forward with on this. And this is something that I work through with the life coaching clients and I work through with myself.

The first thing you need to do when you want change is to get really real with yourself about what is uncomfortable for you right now. No more ignoring it, no more rationalising it, no more resisting it or trying to plan around it. What is uncomfortable right now? Get really real with yourself.

And then talk to yourself about making change and what scares you about that change. What’s going to be uncomfortable about that change?

Now you have two lists. You have staying here in this discomfort and going towards change with this discomfort. And you get to choose. Choose your discomfort.

Because everything is uncomfortable. You might as well choose the one that moves you closer to the life you want to live.

 

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