I got a text message from my Mother In Law ‘can we take the kids for a week in March?’, as fast as I could spell out D. U. H. we were plotting our escape from this small town.
Four nights without our two toddlers and the city’s vibrant arms wide open. Yet I sat there pregnant, bloated and ambivalent. I had expectations. Expectations for this trip to be like our last (non-pregnant) one: intimate, exciting, sun pooling over us as we ate and drank and wandered streets like newlyweds in Italy.
|The view from one of the hotels. I saw dollar signs, he saw mountains and something about boats and barges that I didn’t quite catch.|
I can look back at this time and think of other things I’ve ruined for myself (and probably my husband) because I had certain expectations. Not that there is anything wrong with hopes and plans, but how I handle it is the spoiler.
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful Cor 13:4-6
Then I look at my husband, wandering the city streets with my shopping bags in his hands. Maybe he was appeasing his cheese-gobbling, swollen-footed wife, but he wasn’t unhappy. I take for granted the carefree spirit in him, maybe I even resent it sometimes. He always makes people around him happy and relaxed because he lets himself be.
It did end up being a really great trip once I let my brain and heart parallel the same thought – that being away from the kids was probably hardest for me alone, #momproblems and this experience should only be viewed with gratitude for what is rather than expectations for what it should be. And I have lots to be grateful for!
My husband hailed cabs for my swollen feet and knees (does anyone else get pregnancy arthritis?! No I’m not 87, it’s a real thing!). We chatted, laughed, ate, found peace in the moments of silence and kept on exploring.
Then we ate some more.
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