You’re the Worst, Please Cuddle Me (my day with cranky toddlers)

Sometimes my children find me appealing as wearing socks. Translation, the worst ever.

Lately they’ve been drawn to me like all the ‘please don’t eat that’ floor food under the table.

It started last night over dinner. In sporadic preparation over four hours, I pieced together a nice pasta dish of roasted zucchini, baked chicken and roasted tomatoes with fresh basil and oregano. Or if you are under four then just noodles, thank you very much.

Lenayah ate three bowls of noodles (yay) but with every.single.noodle she would ask me ‘what’s that mama?’. response ‘it’s a noodle’. reaction ‘oh….can I eat it?’. response ‘yes’.  It went on so long that I was cleaning up the dishes and reassuring her that they were all noodles and she didn’t have to ask me each time. She was horrified I would suggest such a thing and continued on her questioning with more shrill persistence.

I love the toddler stage for so many reasons but the perpetual interrogation is like sauntering along a beautiful path with a rock in your shoe. And the shoe is duct taped and super glued to your foot.

Wherever I am going/thinking of going/just went…..
Anything I am eating/cooking/wearing/applying/standing on/staring blankly at…..They want to be part of and if access is denied then cue the smattering of undesirable emotions that we get to sit and talk about.

Conor has been back to work since Wednesday. Usually its the last, and not the fifth day, that their ‘I’m a toddler and life is bitchin’ DNA cells mutate into ‘put me back into the womb and play another Dora show’ cells.

Usually we would jump into the stroller for a walk to the park but today I did something I have never done. I took all three kids into town, on purpose, just because, to get out of the house. Like every other mom, I was trying to reopen the door to carefree and happy with some distraction and adventure…and chocolate chip cookies.

It didn’t work.

Lunch was spent rocking a baby in a seat on the table and consoling to two toddlers who wouldn’t let go of my legs but hated all the decisions I make with the fervour of scorned fifteen year old drama queen.

So while Levi is waiting another five minutes to ask to be released from Quiet Time in his room and the other two are napping, it’s just me….and the food dehydrator whirring. So I will smush all of the selfish luxuries of solitude into these next four and a half minutes…… now off to google weird shit til I find the end of the internet.

Leave a comment