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93. Type 2 Mom (the Helper), Enneagram + Motherhood

The Type 2 on the Enneagram is also known as The Helper. For this reason, a lot of us can identify as a possible Type 2 – especially in North America where this is a cultural expectation that women are ‘helpers’. 

This can lead to people-pleasing, but not all people-pleasers are Type 2s. 

Some things that set the Enneagram Type 2 apart:

  • They cope with problems by focussing on the needs of others rather than themselves
  • Their relationships are built with a culture of ‘helping’
  • They find their value in helping others

I explain what the Type 2 can look like in times of growth and in times of stress. 

I also outline how to differentiate a common mistype with Type 9s. 

Three moms are sharing their experience of being a Type 2 mom and outlining what feels like a struggle and what feels like a strength for them when it comes to motherhood. 

Thank you to Louise, Aimee and Jessica for sharing with us!

You can find Louise here. 

You can find Jessica right here. 

Books recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and make a purchase I will be compensated at no additional cost to you. 

Links:

The Wisdom of the Enneagram book

Get answers to your questions about the Enneagram in the Simple on Purpose Community Facebook Group

Book a consult call to learn about life coaching with the Enneagram

Share your Enneagram + Motherhood Experience, looking to hear from types 5,6,7,8 and 9 – message me if you are up for it

The type 2 mom

 

Episode Transcript 

Hey friends, it’s Shawna, your Nerdy Girlfriend and Life Coach from Simple on Purpose.

This is the podcast for the mom on the go, I aim to keep all of the episodes short to the point and filled with tips and advice and insight to help you simplify slow down and show up for your life because this is your life, you should enjoy it. Today we’re continuing on with the type twos of the enneagram the type two mamas who are sharing their experience of what it is like to be a type two. And if the enneagram is new to you head back a couple of episodes I do a run through on all of the nine types of the enneagram. So the type two also known as the helper, as I mentioned before, there are directions we take when we are in growth and directions we take when we are in stress, and the type two will move towards the type for when they are in a healthy place in their growing and they will become more self nurturing, more sensitive, more recognizing of their own needs their own desires, in a way more self actualizing and self aware. When they are under stress, they move towards a type eight, the rebel the maverick and they become more aggressive and more argumentative. As you listen to these three moms. Today you’re going to hear Louise mentioned that she takes on the type three traits. Since type three is right beside the type two, you can pick up qualities of the type right beside you this these are called the wings. So she takes on type three traits and the type three is the achiever. Now the type two is a type that many of us can identify with naturally, because it’s called the helper and in North America, we have this culture that women are helpers. In fact, many of us even want to be viewed as a helper and we will become people pleasers. Now I coach a lot of people pleasers, but not all of them are type twos, there is a little bit of digging, we have to do underneath all of that underneath the behavior of being a people pleaser. One really common mistake because this is my own is that a type nine can mistyped themselves as a type two. And on the surface type nine in type two can look very similar. They tend to merge with what others want. They come across as very supportive of others. But what sets the type two apart is that you’re helping others as a way to secure their value with them. A type nine will help others in order to avoid conflict or disconnect. I like to think of it as a type nine will offer support. And a type two will offer like help like practical help, like let me help you. A type nine wants to help them so life can go on. And the type two is building a relationship with others around the culture of helping them. So with each of these types that we’re going to be sharing, I’m also going to explain their harmonic type or their coping type. And this is how they deal with things not going their way. So type twos are part of a group that likes to positively reframe things. So put a spin on them put a positive spin on them. And the type two is someone who will reduce their own pain or needs and focus on others, they neglect themselves. And it’s almost a way to transfer their problems or pain onto others and then help others so I look at the information sharing the wisdom of the enneagram. And I’ll link that book in the show notes. And at a glance it explains the type twos positive outlooks sounds like this, you have a problem, I am here to help you. It is a helpful way of getting distance from it and still maintaining that role. They want us to helpers who are caring and loving. Now, I think type twos are beautiful, when they are healthy, and they are serving from a place of empowerment and love rather than victimhood and resent they are so powerful, and I love the type twos in my life. Let’s hear now from Louise, Jessica and Aimee, and I’m going to link to any of these ladies who shared their social media information in the show notes. You can check that out.

Hey, Shawna, thanks so much for inviting me to speak to you today about my enneagram and how it shows up in my parenting. I am a freelance writer who works 95% of the time from home, especially now. And I am parent to four children between the ages of 18 and 10. I identify as an enneagram type two, but I do have a healthy number of type three traits as well. So how does that show up in my parenting? It goes without saying that as a type two, I love to take care of people. I am always looking for ways that I can be useful and needed. I love to love people. I love to be a cheerleader. I like to encourage others. And I’m really good at picking up on when somebody could use that support, if that makes sense. I’m interested in people I find my children fascinating. I think one of my stories strengths is that I really try to see them as individuals. And I really try to care for them as unique people instead of as a collective, my children, quote unquote, they’re each their own person. It doesn’t come without its challenges, though, I and this is where I think the type three kind of overlaps, I like to be in control. I have a harder time with criticism about the way I go about things. I like to know that I’m doing a good job. And I am an intuitive taskmaster, I like to be busy moving forward, feeling accomplished and successful, and probably has a lot to do with why a bigger family felt natural for me and feels very normal for me. I don’t find it as chaotic as people might assume I would. I’m actually struggling now with my oldest one leaving the home and the shift in Dynamics and how I have more downtime and have to redistribute my caring and caregiver energy, things I can work on, as far as parenting and my own personal well being, remembering to take care of myself, remembering that I myself and a person outside of my children, that I have my own identity, and recognizing that I have a lot of value to give outside of the parenthood sphere, and learning to separate trials and tribulations that my children go through from feeling like they are mine as well. So there you have it was a lot of information. But that’s how I feel that my enneagram which is primarily type two, and a little dash of type three shows up in my parenting.

Hi, my name is Aimee Greenman. I’m a mother to four children age 21 1914, and a new to our family one year old. As an enneagram to the helper, I love serving my family to a fault. I really struggle in the area of delegation. And I see ways that this has negatively affected my adult children in the area of independence. In times of stress, I definitely have issues with resentment for the ways that I haven’t delegated. My husband and I are working hard to make changes with our youngest two children.

Hi, there, my name is Jessica Grout, I am a business owner. And most importantly, mother of two boys age four and 11 months. I’m an enneagram. Two, through and through. So my main focus in life is really on relationships. I feel like being a two makes me great at my job as a therapist and my family, or at least one who could talk, constantly express how loved and supported that they feel. But I do struggle with feeling okay, with making time for myself, I find that I get really burnt out and really overwhelmed quickly because I’m just trying to take care of everyone else. And when I’m operating from a place of insecurity, it tends to come out as frustration and resentment. So I really try to remind myself that if my goal really is to be the best moment in life, I can be have to check in with my needs to and I have to set aside that time for myself. It really can be a struggle to put myself first sometimes, but I really seen the benefits firsthand when I do.

Thank you so much. You ladies, you type twos, you wonderful type twos. When I put a call out that I was doing this project, all of the type twos volunteered. I had so many type twos right away, they were sending it in, they were offering support, I had to turn them away. I felt so bad. And all of these type twos they just sent in these recordings right away. Thank you type twos. You guys teach us how to show up for one another more. Stay tuned. This week, I’m going to share type threes and type fours. And if you are a type 5678 or nine, I would love to hear from you. I would love to hear your voice right now I only have one of each of those types to share in the podcast episodes coming up. So if you’re willing to share your voice, please find me on Instagram at simple on purpose.ca. Send me a message there, get in touch with me. If you have questions about the enneagram you want to learn more about your type. Come on over to the Facebook group, ask them there. I’m going to be talking about that this week. And if you are interested in life coaching by your enneagram type, using that information to help you grow as a person, get in touch with me I offer that as well. And thank you Louise, Jessica and Aimee. Alright guys have a great day.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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