Things I Have in Common with my Newborn.


Neither of us have discernible belly buttons or waist lines. However, dressing the ‘H’ shape can be very simple…by not giving a hot lovin thought on if form might win over function these days. I mean, why wear a belt when 5 inches of stretchy elastic are an option?!

Our hair is luscious. I know it’s the careful concoction of pregnancy hair, dry shampoo and bed head but I am keeping point for point with this baby’s sweet locks. He was born with enough hair for all three of the kids combined.

We are scared of our own poops. Stool softeners don’t get enough respect. There! I said it!

We are wearing diapers. The difference is I have two toddlers asking if mine are pillows and dumping them out in the bathroom to build ‘towers’ on all horizontal surfaces in the bathroom. I’m still not sure how to explain to a three year old boy they are for mommy’s ‘owies’, without him thinking they can be used on his ‘owies’ too. Stay tuned.

Our days are on a 24 hour rotation of eating and sleeping. Though mine has some toddler chasing and showering thrown in for chaotic fodder. Baby and I are flipping the bird to normal bio-circadian rhythms and laughing in the general direction of clocks everywhere. Ha!

We are both preoccupied with what my boobs are currently capable of. Yet, with great bosom comes great responsibility….and engorgement…and plugged ducts….and sporting a produce lined undergarment.

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