29. Birthdays on Purpose, Mindful in marriage, Love your summer wardrobe.

Thanks for joining me for another Simple Saturday. In this episode, I’m talking about how we approach birthdays on purpose, the time my husband and I forgot our anniversary (we were camping), how to be mindful about what’s happening in your heart and mind and strategies to implement when you want to go buy all new clothes.

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Simple Family | How we approach birthdays on purpose

This past week was my daughter, Lenayah’s 7th birthday.

I admire a mom who embraces the birthday theme, rents a space, and invites the whole class to come. I also have to respect the mom I am and know that this will turn me into a stress ball. But that is okay, we don’t all have to do the same thing and I KNOW there are many ways I can make my kids feel celebrated and have a memorable birthday.

We aim to give our kids gifts that are experiences, something homemade or something simple and exactly what they are interested in. For my daughter this year, we are sending her to horse camp. And since we KNOW that gifts and crafts are her love language, we made her a wooden horse (#notacraftblogger) and bought her some Spirit play horses. She loved it all.

It’s how we approach birthdays on purpose.

I know we are a bit against the norm when it comes to birthdays, and it is not to say our way is correct and others are wrong. This is the way that is right for our family and I want to give all moms freedom to birthday from a place of peace and purpose because that allows you to show up and truly celebrate your loved one more freely and passionately.

#bethemomyouare

Simple Heart | Showing up in marriage means a truck load of mindfulness

June is a very special month. It is the birth and marriage month of many friends. It is the birth month of Conor and Lenayah (birthdays on purpose). Also, it is our dating anniversary (15 years!) and our marriage anniversary (11 years). And it is when the peonies are blooming and we are contemplating if we will ever save up for air conditioning.

How to be mindful about what is happening in your heart and mind

This past week of us being on the road, camping and travelling with the kids have given me such underlying anxiety that it has been hard to enjoy the life in front of me. I could feel myself getting annoyed. This was me this week and I needed MINDFULNESS (I know it is a buzzword, but it is powerful) I had to take time alone and really drill down into what was happening in my brain. In fact, I had to coach myself.

I asked things like:

What am I feeling?
When did I start feeling it?
What am I making it mean?
Is it true? (Very helpful on a bad day)
What am I trying to get out of this situation? (Our motives are sneaky!)
How is it making me act? (Probably not in a way that serves you well)
What do I really want the most? (What do I value in my marriage—use the vision setting prompts to help you with this)
How can I shift my thinking to empower myself and how I show up right now?

If you are scared by this autopilot part of your brain that feels dark and musty and requiring some cleaning and restoration, know that you don’t need to run to therapy right now and fix it all. You just need to START WITH MINDFULNESS.

Marriage is a topic that comes up with every single mom I coach, regardless of the other issues we are coaching on. If you want a free mini-session to work through a marriage struggle you are facing then book your call right here.

Simple Style | How to love your summer wardrobe when you want to go buy all new clothes

This past week I was packing for five days away. I put outfits in piles and put them into my bag. Then added a bit more, probably enough for double that now. I looked into my closet and realized I still lots left. I was taken back to the times I have done a #moms30for30 (30 items for 30 days) and how EVERY. SINGLE. TIME I re-learn that I do have so much already, I just need to get more creative with it.

If you are feeling like your summer wardrobe needs to be replenished I challenge you to do the following:

Get rid of anything you don’t WANT to wear.
If you don’t feel good in it, feel yourself in it, let it go—it is burdening your closet and your emotions every time you look at it. Even if it means wearing the same 10 items every week, if you love your clothes you won’t feel like every morning is an announcement on your lack of style options.
Unfollow, unsubscribe any accounts that make you feel like you aren’t enough.

(just good advice for any area)

If you want outfit inspiration search Pinterest by the item (red shorts ideas, yellow sundress ideas) and shop your closet to see what you can make work with what you already have
Count how many shorts, shirts, skirts, dresses you have. This puts it in perspective to how many outfits you could make. How many days of outfits do you theoretically already have). (This step is optional for those of you who appreciate fact-based decision making. I see you spreadsheet lovers!)
Practice getting dressed.
This is the most valuable thing you can do with what you have. It means taking the time to get creative with what you put together—try different combos and accessories. Then when you get dressed in the morning you won’t feel overwhelmed and default to the same thing you always wear and feel ‘okay’ in. Whether you spend an hour doing it with some music and sending selfies to your lady posse—or whether you challenge yourself to a 30for30 (or 10for10 or 14for14, whatever).
If! After all this, you feel like there are gaps in your wardrobe, make a shopping list just for those items.
I always shop with a list otherwise I will get so sidetracked by all the other options and sales. Another rule I have is to only buy it if you LOVE IT. If I don’t love it then I know I’m probably just buying it for the sake of having it, and I don’t want to spend my money or emotional capital from a place of lack and need.

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