It is just over ten years since I decided to declutter the house for my family of five. 

I had just read the Joy of Less, and it was like a trap door opened up underneath my feet and dropped me into my basement of boxes. 

The realization hit me, “I don’t actually have to keep all of this stuff”

Which never occurred to me, it wasn’t how I was raised. We kept all the stuff, and then got more stuff, and kept that too.

GIVING YOURSELF PERMISSION TO CHANGE YOUR MIND IS ONE OF THE GREATEST FREEDOMS YOU CAN GIVE YOURSELF

 

At the time I started decluttering, my kids were around 1,3 and 4. And I documented the journey over the years here on this site. 

 

One of my most-read posts is about my reflections on how things had changed after a year of decluttering 

So, here I am ten-plus years later.
I wanted to reflect on how minimalism has impacted me and how it shows up in my life and home now. 

For context, ten years ago I was a stay-at-home mom of three small kids, blogging about minimalism and intentional living. Eventually I would podcast about it too.

Now, ten years later, I am a working (therapist) mom of two teens and a middle schooler. This blog and podcast still exist, but the content I focus on is the Simple Saturdays email (that comes out monthly-ish).

I think context matters because minimalism was such a focus for me ten years ago. I was reading about it, listening to podcasts, putting it into action. 

Now my focus is the Google Calendar and driving kids places and my clients and surviving perimenopause. 

So, as life has gone on this past decade, here are some things I notice in myself and in my home (that I am assuming are different due to bringing minimalism into my life)

 

1.‘We don’t have a space for that’

I learned early into decluttering that the less furniture I have in my space, the freer it can feel. 

But it means setting limits, and limits are not fun and we often rely on others to set limits for us, rather than set them ourselves. 

The reality is, there will always be a deal.

There will always be a family member offering you furniture.

There will always be something cool on market place.

There is always STUFF you can get and bring home (and ride a bit of a dopamine hit for getting new stuff)

The reality is also that your home is only so big, and you get to (have to) decide how to use the space you have. 

For me, when you combine these two realities together, I end up saying ‘we don’t have space for that’ a lot. 

And yeah, it is hard, there are cute things out there.

There are chairs I wish would fit into our living room.

There are cupboards that will never fit into the dining area.

There are pianos that are lovely, but I already have one. 

Deciding ahead of time is powerful. If you know you don’t have room for another dresser in your bedroom, it is already pre-decided. You can decide once and not question yourself about it. 

(I’ve yet to meet a furniture item that I love so much (and can afford!) that I am willing to get rid of my current furniture for it) 

 

2. Decluttering is still a routine, not an event

The first time I decluttered the home, it was a big whole event. I never shut up about it, had to use a blog as an outlet to process it, and spent a lot of time going through STUFF and then taking the unwanted stuff to new places. 

Unfortunately, stuff kept making its way back IN to this house. And so, I’d have to do it again next month/season/year. 

Every year, I declutter the mud room, my clothes, the basement. 

Every couple of months, I need to do the junk drawer or bathroom drawers. 

Each space in the house is still being decluttered as time passes. (Though the kids’ rooms are their own domain now)

(see some recently decluttered posts here)

And I have learned to NOT BE MAD ABOUT IT. I had some thoughts, when first starting all this, that decluttering would be a one-and-done thing. I thought that if I set up the right organizing system, things would stay Pinterest-tidy. 

Then it wouldn’t stay Pinterest-tidy and I would feel like a crappy homemaker. 

Once I let decluttering be a common practice, things would reset and become more manageable again. 

 

3. Making spaces, and changing spaces 

Yes, it is important to declutter the things you don’t want or that don’t bring you value. Also, minimalism has taught me the value of creating the SPACE you want to have in your home. 

Our homes don’t have to be storage units. Our homes don’t have to be set up the way the internet tells us. We can have spaces that are functional but not necessarily Pinterest-worthy. 

Our homes are supposed to support the life we want to have.

Whether that means a basement dedicated to organizing all your camping and climbing gear.

Or your backyard is dedicated to a sport.

Or your living room is full of beanbag chairs and swings. 

 

It has given me a lot of freedom to be flexible with my spaces. 

Our basement alone has gone through many phases. From storage unit, to toddler play space, to mini-sticks and nerfguns, now to teen space with room for gaming, crafting and sleepovers. 

Also, knowing I am not dedicated to a room staying the same forever has taken off the pressure to ‘get it right’.

It has also kept us from dropping a lot of cash to make it a certain way. We have had to be resourceful. We are constantly repurposing shelves and chairs and tables and other furniture from other places in the house to adjust our needs throughout the rooms of the home. 

As long as our kids are growing and changing how they interact in spaces, I think we will have to remain flexible with our spaces. 

 

4. I think about consumerism, more than ever

Consumerism is defined in different ways. 

For those who are touting it, it means that people buying things is good for the economy. 

For those who are cautioning against it, consumerism is the preoccupation of society to buy things (with the notion that the ‘things’ will make them happier/more successful)

If you compare how our modern society consumes things (especially cheap things that end up in the garbage) to past decades, it is pretty undeniable that we are a culture obsessed with getting more STUFF.

We have Instagrammers telling us the best stuff to buy, we treat shopping like a hobby, we are bombarded with ads and emails and influencers telling us what we need to buy to be relevant. 

When I was decluttering I was struck with how much waste I had sitting around my home. Cheap decor items, broken dollar store baskets, old charging cords, broken hair clips, out-dated shoes, so many scarves, 24 extra forks . . .  

All things I saw in a store, thought it would bring me some kind of value, spent money on it, and brought it home. 

I feel one of the biggest gifts that minimalism has given me is the distance from my consumerism. 

I can step back and consider:

How many water bottle are too many? (more than fit in the water bottle drawer)
Do we really need a new vacuum? (probably, but you should start using the one you have before you convince yourself you need a new one)
Can I duct tape this broken piece on the curling iron and keep using it? (yes, if you can fix it, always try that first)
How many coats is too many coats? (still calculating, I need to factor in the Canadian variable)

I aim to be more intentional with my shopping, whether it is a purchase for me or for someone in my life.  

And this is a gift of saving money, space and helping keeping me humble

Because let’s be honest

Most of our purchases are for things we don’t need

With money we don’t have

To impress people we don’t know/like

(I didn’t make that up, but can’t tell you where it came from)

 

5. Turns out a capsule wardrobe isn’t for me

And speaking of consumerism…. Let me tell you a very real wrestling match in my head is clothes. 

When I started decluttering, I was taking pride in how small I could make my closet. 

I had the standard six foot reach in closet, sharing with my husband, and was able to reduce my amount of clothes drastically. 

I shared about how to start a capsule wardrobe and I was also doing 30for30 challenges (wearing thirty items for thirty days). 

So you can all give me side eye when I tell you that I now have this walk-in closet that I LOVE, and it is not 30 items or less!

I was able to declutter a lot of STUFF in my life, but I have learned in this process that I really like clothes.

And minimalism is a self-discovery process, so I was surprised to learn this about myself considering my very humble fashion roots of being a wallflower in thrift store clothes, afraid of being seen and not knowing how to dress myself. 

But adult me does enjoy clothes.  I like the colours and the textures. I like the shapes you can make.  I like the little pops of colour and surprising patterns. I like the variety. Though I do have clothes I’ve worn and loved for years on end, I like to have some new stuff come in from time to time. 

I also love that we made space for this closet (by reducing my office size). It is laid out in a way where it is easy to see everything. I feel like if I can see it, I will wear it. It is also not within a 3inch setback of our bed, so we can have some breathing space. 

And thank goodness I now have a foundation of minimalism and being more mindful when shopping. Non-minimalist Shawna had zero chill when it came to BOGO sales and justifying most any purchase. 

I am also thankful for all of the 30for30 challenges I have done. I learned something in all of them. And every season I act surprised by the tension I feel to buy all new clothes and the reality that I do have many clothes already. And I worked hard to choose clothes I really like or love. 

Spring is coming, I am going to shop my closet again to remind myself that I DON’T NEED A WHOLE NEW WARDROBE every season (which is what social media and fast fashion get paid the big moola to make us believe)

 

6. I don’t miss anything, at least not for long

White knuckling the pasta maker you don’t use because you think you will need it one day is a pattern for many of us.

That pattern is loss aversion (it is more painful to let go of something than the pleasure we get from acquiring it) and insecurity that without this thing, WE won’t be enough somehow. 

I have gotten rid of truckloads of stuff over the first year of decluttering. In fact, we helped my niece set up her new apartment with living room furniture and kitchen items, which we had so much of. 

Over the years, there have been moments where I remember an item I let go of and think ‘I could use this right now’. Like a niche kitchen item, or a clothing item that came back into style. Really, I can’t think of any other things I’ve felt this way about. 

And as soon as the thought comes into my head, ‘If only I still had that thing….’ another thought instantly takes its place, ‘so what will I do instead?’. 

And I haven’t had any issues finding a solution. I haven’t missed things in any impactful way. 

This is a lesson that re-solidifies my confidence in letting things go. The more you realize you can let things go and it WILL be okay, the more things you are able to let go of. 

 

7. Life is still messy, but it feels more manageable  

I don’t know if you would come to my home and call me a mininamlist. In fact, my bestie is much more of a minimalist than I am, and she ain’t writing no blog about it. 

My house still has stuff in it, but it is stuff we like and use all the time. The excess and distractions are gone. 

For years, I would share photos of our decluttering and our house on instagram, as it was in the moment, with the Emotional Support Basket of Laundry in the living room, dishes on the counter and legos on the floor. 

Because #welivehere

And now, ten years later. There are piles of things we need to deal with, kids’ items carefully put in hallways for us to trip over, and now my kids have adopted their own Emotional Support Basket of Laundry in their bedrooms. 

However, I will say that minimalism has helped me not feel overwhelmed by my home.  Most things (not all) have a home. And we have some chores we all do each day to keep it manageable enough. 

I am sure that moving out of the little kid stage has helped, because, Lord help me – the amount of nerf bullets and socks that littered these rooms was a part-time job 

But now, clean up feels quicker. To take a minute (sometimes literally a minute) to put things into their homes.

I mean… it takes a minute if I do it. 

 

6. Making a minimalist family home takes time (and money)

I thought that decluttering would drastically change my whole house within months (well, here was the 6 month update).

Something that can only be said ten years later… it will take time. Decluttering is something that doesn’t just end. It is an investment in getting started, and then you need to keep coming back to it. 

It also takes trial and error to set up systems that actually do work for your life and your habits. 

It takes flexibility to let spaces change with your needs and refine what would make it work better. 

And you know what else it takes? Money. Nobody really talks about how much paint is, or how expensive closet units and lights are. 

We have so many influencers and 24/7 tv shows of people who are actually paid to make their rooms into pinterest spaces. So it tricks us into thinking we all should have it too.

But who is paying for it?
And is this how you want to spend your money?
And do you have the money?
Sometimes the answer is no or not yet, 

We have spent 15 years in this house, slowly renovating, fixing and refining it. We have put a lot of money and care into this space. But we wouldn’t have been able to do it in a shorter time frame or had enough money in a shorter time frame. 

In fact, we still have two spaces left in our home (and two outside) that are still untouched. And those remain a ‘not yet’ kinda thing. 

So I will make the best of my baby blue bathroom with faux marble laminate that doesn’t really work for my needs. I would like to start from the studs and make it beautiful and have a flow and layout that is ideal for me (which I feel entitled to say, and that is our privilege to wrestle with) 

 

7. We worked with what we had to create something we love

I had lurked on the realty pages for many years, sending houses to my husband with captions like ‘the ensuite!’, ‘the breakfast nook!’, ‘the pantries!’ (And yes, I still do send them to him, but about twice a year and now with captions like ‘the sauna’ ‘the view’ ‘the hot-tub’ #workinprogress). 

But if you ask me NOW what it would take for me to move from this house, it would have to be the most ideal property (with the view, sauna, hottub and a yellow front door and the right price)

Because doing the work of decluttering, getting rid of things I don’t love or find value in, and taking time with this home to make it work for us…. I feel like we have created a very unique space that is curated to our tastes and our family’s life

It doesn’t have to be magazine-worthy.

I want it to feel hygge.

I want it to be a place filled with people and memories, a place that feels safe and welcoming. I think my friends would tell you that it is. 

And I didn’t get there by making sure I had the right jars in my pantry or making sure my windows were spotless. I learned not to sacrifice my emotional peace for a perceived physical peace in my home. 

 

I hope you have enjoyed this very long reflection into how things look for me, ten plus years into minimalism. 

If you would like to keep up with Simple on Purpose, make sure to subscribe to the email newsletter – that comes out once or twice a month, depending on my capacity and how colourful the google calendar is that month.

Love Shawna, 
Your Nerdy Girlfriend and Therapist who reminds you that your space matters