This excerpt is from the 2023 Life with Less Challenge, held through the Facebook Group.
This past week I took my daughter away on a one-night getaway.
This is a tradition we started last year, it is called the Hockey Sister trip. It is a way to acknowledge her for all the hours she spends in rinks and car rides and tournaments for her brothers’ hockey. It is also a cherished time that I get to spend with her and all her ideas and stories and small chat as we go about the day together.
Part of the getaway involves shopping. As I aim to do life with less, I really want to be mindful of my spending. I did have a list of things I was looking for and I stuck to the list.
Sticking to the list is hard. (Related: Brain tantrums and dopamine)
Sticking to the list means seeing something that looks exciting and special and saying no to it. (which is like the least unfun thing ever and our brain often throws a little tantrum about it, because dopamine).
I’ve been trying to teach my youngest about this fact of life that ‘you will always see something you want to buy, that is why you have to learn to say no to yourself’ – and I laughed at myself as I wandered through the mall with my daughter and my eye was drawn to ALL THE THINGS I would have mindlessly bought in the past. I repeated this to myself, “I will always see something I want to buy, I have to say no to myself.”
This was my anchoring phrase. It keeps me tethered to where I want to stay right now.
ANCHOR PHRASES
I find it helpful to have some of these anchoring phrases (bringing me back to my values and goals) to use when I am trying to shift my spending and consumption habits.
Here are some I find myself using:
When I see something I need (like toothpaste or coffee beans or mascara, etc), but still have enough at home:
“But do I need it right now? I can get it later when I do need it”
When I see something I want to buy but don’t really need:
“I will always see something I want to buy, this time I say no to myself.”
And I’m realizing this one is often true: “I have a version of that at home already, I don’t need more”
When I see something I would like and could use but it is still more money being spent (like the other day I wanted to buy a special barista almond milk for lattes):
“I could get this, but it isn’t on my list and I want to stick to my list”
“If I get this and love it, now that is one more thing I need to keep buying in my life”
“It would be fun, but I can go without”
“I was fine before I knew this existed and I will be fine after”
And I really think it helps to keep some bigger goals in mind too.
Whether it is a trip you are saving for, a debt you want to pay off, or the peace of knowing your money is accounted for. Write out some of the expenses you have coming up this season, and any special things you want to direct your money to.
“Saying no today is a yes for tomorrow’s plans”
Anchor phrases can be used for anything in your life, not just mindful shopping. You can use them in motherhood and decluttering and marriage.
Whatever struggle you know you want to tackle, consider what is most important (and believable) to you and put that into your anchor phrase.
For more info on Mindful Shopping you might also like: