62. My husband put the groceries away wrong, he doesn’t care about me (love languages and expectations in marriage)

Today’s bonus episode comes after I showed pictures of my pantry on Instagram and mentioned love languages and got a lot of comments about it. 


While we’re in isolation, my wonderful husband, when he’s home from work for the week, has been doing the grocery shopping and the meal prep while I work. But when he puts away the groceries, he does not appreciate my pantry system at all. There’s onions and potatoes together. There’s nuts in the grain section. It’s just madness!


I could get upset or I could choose to see it another way. 

Prefer to read this episode? See the blog post for it right here. 

There are five main ways that we like to receive love and that we like to express love. The way you receive and express love can be different. Same thing goes for your spouse. Having different love languages means having different expectations of love. 


So often we tie our emotions to our expectations of our spouses. When we’re outsourcing that job of meeting our emotional needs to others, it sets us up for disappointment. It also sets us up for not learning the skills to do it ourselves, for not taking responsibility for doing it ourselves. 


We can start showing up with a new frame of mind with new thoughts. We can start showing up from a place where we’re meeting our own emotional needs already and it’s not our spouse’s responsibility to do it. 


We can look at how our spouse is loving us and our family and not how we think they need to show us love or meet our criteria of love.  In marriage every single day, we need to look for the ways that someone is expressing their love to us. 


Links mentioned:

Instagram post of the pantry (in this highlight reel)

The Five Love Languages for Children by Gary Chapman 

Life on Purpose Academy 

Learn more about life coaching one on one with Shawna 


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