Life is too short, life is too long

People always say life is short and follow it up with some positive affirmation to override any current negativity, doubts or distractions. 

 

But I think that ‘life is too short’ doesn’t always feel empowering or motivating. At the most extreme, it could make life feel fleeting and inconsequential. What does it even matter??

 

A few memories pop into my brain that have really shaped how I look at this sentiment. 

The first one is the day I realized my dad didn’t love the job he did for upwards of thirty years. 

 

When he retired, I was asking him about how he was feeling and he shared with me that he did not ever really love his job, most days didn’t particularly like it. He just did it because it paid the bills. 

 

I felt so much sadness for him.  A kind of mourning for him, where I wondered what would have been possible for him if he made a change from that dissatisfaction. 

I know it shows the generation gap in accepting dissatisfaction and duty. And I am aware it shows an income-luxury gap, being able to change careers while trying to raise a family isn’t exactly easy.  But I couldn’t imagine how it felt for him to feel so stuck for so long. How it must have worn down the shiniest parts of him over years of monotony and apathy. 

 

That was also the day that I knew I didn’t want to stay in the job I was in at the time. The one I had gone to special schooling for, did practicums, did certification papers and exams for. The one that, within the first years, I knew wasn’t for me. My life was too short to spend it doing something that gave me a baseline of dread and anxiety every day. 

 

Then I fast forward to visiting my grandpa in his later years.  He was a gentle and hardworking man all his life, but it seemed in his 80s he hit a wall. He was done with life. 

 

I would sit in my grandparents living room and he would declare, ‘We’ve lived a good life, we are proud of all our kids and grandkids, and we are ready to go when it is our time’. 

 

This felt too soon for me to hear. But to him, he had begun the process of waiting for the end. His health gave him issues that made every continual day tough to endure. To him, life was too long to spend it feeling unwell without reprieve. 

 

The final memories that come to me are the ones of being with my small kids. Toting around three kids under four and hearing all the sentiments of on-lookers saying things like, ‘appreciate it, cherish it, it doesn’t last long’. 

I would smile and nod and stay up all night rocking babies just praying for the day they could feed themselves and change themselves and I could sleep again. I imagined what it would be like to view this time as fleeting and precious and I would shake my head, these people clearly forgot how exhausting and taxing these days are. (I would get it 10 years later, though). 

As they say, the days are long and the years are short. 

 

And this is the dichotomy I find myself thinking about. The way we balance two options in our hands:

Life is too short not to live with gratitude and engagement in our actual life

But also, life is too long, we want to make sure we do the work of filling our long lives with good things. 

 

Throughout the week, I find myself saying, ‘Life is too short, life is too long.’ 

When I spend the extra time with each kid, listening to their stories and thoughts as I tuck them into bed. Life is too short not to do this, life is also too long not to. 

When I make a nice lil coffee, I will savour it, and it will be the only one I have that day. Likewise, when I make the coffee wrong and decide to remake it, life is too short, life is too long. 

When I look up from what I am doing and smile at my husband when he gets home. Life is too short not to, life is also too long not to. 

When I drink water, or do some stretches, or tuck myself into bed early. Life is too short, life is too long. 

Life is too short and life is too long  . . . . 

To ignore things that matter.

To not take the opportunities that come our way. 

To not tell people the good things you see in them. 

To spend your days feeling stuck where you are.

To not pay attention to yourself and what you desire and hope for.

To not work on communication and conflict resolution with those you love.

To drink bad coffee or eat burnt toast (at least scrape off the burnt parts).

To wear clothes you don’t even like. 

To not take control of your space and make your home a place you love to be.

To not work on your own life satisfaction. 

To not take a mental health day. 

To worry about always being comfortable. 

To fight with those around you. 

 

Of course, we don’t know how long our life gets to be. 

 

We can approach it with the desire to be present and squeeze our day of all the life it has available, because life can be short! We can make bold choices! 

 

Or we can approach it through the desire to make our life sustainable and supportive of all the fun and health and experiences we crave in our long life.  We can make intentional choices!

 

We have to live with our daily decisions in the short term and long term.  That is building up a life you are proud of and one that you enjoyed living, as much as possible.