Life Coach Nuggets

Little nuggets I’ve been sharing about living life.

 

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After my second baby I struggled with feeling unhappy around every corner. My baby was tough, my marriage was rocky, my body was weird, I was an anxious wreck. IT WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE THIS WAY! If I wasn’t happy, or my kids weren’t happy then I assumed I was doing it wrong. It has taken me years to learn that there are other emotions we WILL and SHOULD experience as humans: sadness, anger, grief, anxiety, loneliness. I have stopped running from these feelings, and am learning to let them be part of my life – they are the training grounds for faith, hope, resilience, contentment, and empathy. Life can’t be about being happy and comfortable all the time. It is great to feel those things but they can’t be our life focus, because life is full of all the feelings! If you are unhappy about being unhappy then schedule yourself a free MINI life coaching session with me. Stop by https://simpleonpurpose.ca/coaching-mini-session/ and check it out! #simpleonpurposelifecoaching

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I heard Mel Robbins say THE COST OF YOUR NEW LIFE IS YOUR OLD LIFE. I mean, she might be paraphrasing an anonymous quote that most likely originated from a famous carpenter – but this sentiment really hit me in a new way: The cost of having a new marriage is letting go of all your old negative thoughts and grievances. The cost of improving your health is giving up the beliefs you have about yourself and activities and foods you turn to out of habit and as buffering. The cost of changing your ways in friendships or motherhood is showing up with new mindsets, new expectations, and humility to try new tool. The life you WANT means giving up the life you have. With all its habits, routines, and mindsets that you hold back and keep you stuck in your old life. Life coaching is a formal way of working through this process. If you are interested in life coaching, let’s set up a free mini coaching session. Stop by https://simpleonpurpose.ca/coaching-mini-session/ for more information

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Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (and many life coaches) teach that our thoughts create our feelings and our feelings create our actions. When I learned this my brain was like ‘whoaaaa, what?’. And my heart was like ‘yeah! take the pressure off!’ When you start to really pay attention to the thoughts you have, THE STORY YOU TELL YOURSELF, you can watch the dominos fall – > When I think this, I feel this, I act like this, and this is the result I get. This is why life coaching is so successful, we get down to those root thoughts that are setting off a chain of events that end up with a life you don’t love. You can’t just change your behaviour (your heart won’t be in it). You can’t just change your feelings (this is exhausting and insincere). BUT you can work on shifting your thoughts and getting better results in your life. If you are interested in life coaching with me, stop by the website for more information. https://simpleonpurpose.ca/life-coaching-program/

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When we want to feel joy/love/appreciation we often delegate the responsibility of creating this feeling to others. We rely on our friends and family to make that feeling happen. BUT they are only human, and not mind-readers, and will let us down. So when they let us down we blame them and make them the problem. When we take responsibility for our feelings, we have the power to live a life we CREATE joy/love/appreciation, instead of a life that lacks it because it relies on outsourcing. It’s like teaching your kids to do their own laundry instead of doing it for them all their life. Man, my marriage would have save a lot of $$$ in counselling years ago if I embraced that. If you are interested in coaching, I’ll be opening up more spots in the next month. Stop by simpleonpurpose.ca/ #simpleonpurposelifecoaching

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When we think our life is lacking, it WILL be lacking. When we think a thought like there isn’t enough joy/appreciation/love then we will FEEL things like disappointment/frustration/discontent. But here is the kicker, we start to act out these feelings and get results that confirm our belief that ‘my life is lacking’ is true. OUR BRAIN will seek out evidence to prove its thoughts true. It can kinda be stuck on this super efficient mode and it will spend its energy looking for ways that our life really is lacking. This is called CONFIRMATION BIAS> if I think nobody wants to talk to me at a party I will feel and show up differently than if I think people are open to meeting me. When I feel uncomfortable and defensive then I will ACT IT OUT and the result will be that nobody wants to talk to me! SO, if you want a different result, think better thoughts to go into it with. LOOK FOR THE BETTER OPTION because you will find what you are looking for. If you want to move to embracing better thoughts then check out my life coaching at https://simpleonpurpose.ca/life-coaching-program/ #simpleonpurposelifecoaching

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I have a friend and coachee who volunteers in the community, she is a full-time mom, her husband works long hours, and then they have a side business. There is so little time for them as a family, everyone is exhausted and they are just on the hamster wheel. The tensions and the grievances are piling up. I asked her what her vision is for her family life and she said: Spending time together going on adventures. Her values are quality time, contentment, adventure and togetherness. When she considered the life she is living she realized this is not inline with her values or visions. So, of course there will be burn out and resentment. If she wants to live based on her values, rooted in her definition of success, and not the world’s definition, then some changes need to be made. So what does success look like to you? What is the life you want?https://simpleonpurpose.ca/redefine-life-success/

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Your feelings cannot be your motivation. If they are, you will not succeed in moving forward because we feel so many feelings so many times, we can’t rely on them for this job of getting ISH DONE! Real progress means doing things EVEN WHEN you don’t feel like it! This doesn’t mean ignoring your feelings, it means KNOWING there will be times when you feel uncomfortable, or frustrated, or scared and planning to DO THE WORK anyways. We can’t let our feelings run the show, they are often our brain looking for ways to avoid discomfort and change. We need to let our values and commitment run the show. → To learn more about life coaching check out https://simpleonpurpose.ca/life-coaching-program/

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