When You Don’t Know What You Want Out Of Life

WELCOME TO PART 3 OF YOU CAN SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE!

In part one we talked about WHY our life isn’t simple (long story short, we are draining our resources, that is our time, money, energies and space, in ways that we don’t love).  The free worksheets in part 1 helped you identify areas of your life where your resources are being drained. 

READ IT ON THE BLOG. LISTEN TO IT ON THE PODCAST

 

In part two I gave you my list of 10 reasons we might not be following through on making our life simpler (a lot of life coaching perspective). The free worksheets helped you identify which reasons might be true for you and some life coaching guidance on how to dig in a little deeper. 

READ IT ON THE BLOG. LISTEN TO IT ON THE PODCAST

So we talked about paying attention to how you are USING your life, and we talked about how your mindsets might be holding you back. Now let’s talk about how to move forward!

 

This portion is my favourite because this is what really propelled me and Conor to really start setting out a vision for the life we wantedThis is the process of setting out your vision and values. 

I’ve been in this process for over five years, I life coach women on it, I think about it, I preach it, I wrote a book about it (the Life on Purpose workbook). 

WOMEN! FRIENDS! It is time to stop and ask yourself two things that will allow you to really start living the simpler, more purposeful life you crave.

WHO DO YOU WANT TO BE AND WHAT DO YOU WANT YOUR LIFE TO FEEL LIKE

 

When we don’t know these things then we are at the mercy of our autopilot life. That rut we are in of the same thoughts, actions, reactions, and feelings we have each day.   

We aren’t working towards any bigger, empowering vision of the life we want to build into. We are just bobbing about in our daily life, hoping that our future self will somehow have it all figured out by then. 

Daily life feels redundant when we aren’t taking even the smallest steps in the direction of the life we truly crave. Especially as moms, we feel like ‘what is all this even for?’.  Maybe we feel unproductive at the end of the day or buried in chores. We don’t just want productivity, we want passion and purpose.

Maybe we feel dissatisfied with the life we are in because it feels hopeless and helpless to maintain this routine of life. Many of us don’t want to have some dramatic life change, we just want more contentment and engagement for the life we have in front of us. 

Also, when we don’t know how we want to show up in our daily life we won’t ever feel like we are being the mom/wife/woman/friend/employee/etc that we WANT to be. We live with this tension like things aren’t right – we aren’t patient/fun/loving/ambitious enough. 

To know these qualities that are important to us in how we show up (our personal values) allows us to be mindful throughout our day of how we want to show up regardless of what is going. This allows us to live with a flow and passion for daily lives because we are being a truer version of our inner selves. 

 

NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOUR, OR YOUR LIFE

When we don’t know who we want to be and what we want we are frustrated with our lives and feel like we are doing it wrong, or something is wrong with the people around us, or our circumstances are wrong. 

Often we try to set a goal: lose ten pounds, run a marathon, become a morning person – but we are still left with little resolve or little happiness at the end. We need to turn inward here. What is under that frustration is that we aren’t living a life truly in line with who we are and what we want. We haven’t set out any positive destination or mindful intention for ourselves. Goals are not the solution  – having our own VISION and VALUES is the solution. 

Nothing is wrong with you, or your life – you’ve just been on autopilot, doing what you have always done, getting what you always got, and NOW IT’S TIME TO DIRECT yourself towards the LIFE you do want, and the  PERSON you want to be. 

 

YES, IT FEELS OVERWHELMING TO THINK ABOUT STARTING

I know when I started to ask these questions about what I wanted and who I wanted to be, with three small kids all at home, it felt daunting. But I had come to this point where I felt restless with my life, I felt like I was just ‘surviving’, I was tired, and just overwhelmed by looking at all the amazing things other women were doing with their lives. 

I couldn’t see how I could open up the door to living my life on purpose. Because I wrongfully assumed it would mean drastic life changes, bold colourful goal-setting calendars, #bossbabe willpower I didn’t possess, and probably a lot of washi tape and confetti. 

BUT, I was feeling uncomfortable with my own life as it was so I decided to choose the discomfort of starting this process of taking control of my life. 

 

YOUR LIFE, YOUR RESPONSIBILITY

I was definitely urged on by the realization that NOBODY ELSE WOULD DO THIS FOR ME. The ideal life, health, home, relationships, work would never just fall into my lap without some intention and action on my part. 

I broke down making this change into steps (which the Life on Purpose workbook guides you through). And I think the most important thing to see here is that we don’t have to make it complicated and we don’t have to wait for the perfect time/circumstances to start

Even if you are at home with a newborn and toddler, or you are swinging back into full-time work, or you are moving across the country – you can still get started with living your life on purpose. 

Over my years of pursuing life on purpose, I feel it has three steps: 

  1. knowing what you want,
  2. deciding what kind of person you want to be along the way,
  3. and making steps (from micro-steps to big goals) in that direction (we will cover this in PART FOUR!).  

 

BABY STEPS AND BIG DREAMS

So let’s get started today with the first two. 

I had launched a workshop this past spring to guide you through this process of KNOWING YOUR VISION AND VALUES. I am so excited to bring back the replay as a freebie to help you with this portion of the YOU CAN SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE SERIES.

This workshop is 45 minutes and it takes you through the vision and value setting process.

There are worksheets to follow along with or you can use the Life on Purpose Workbook.

This workshop is for those of you who are ready to TAKE THE TIME TO LISTEN TO YOURSELF. The workshop includes time to actually put pen to paper so you will get the most out of it and end the session with your own values and vision laid out for you!

To get access to the workshop and the worksheets, simply sign up below and you will be sent right to the workshop page. 

 

 

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