I’ve got a really fun and informative free training for you today.
This is today’s live webinar on three steps to get unstuck and take action towards living your life ON PURPOSE this year.
And I know the idea of intentional living and goals and habits can feel daunting right now, but there are always small and MEANINGFUL things we can do that are building up into our future selves and the life on purpose, peace, presence and PASSION that we crave.
In this audio replay of the live webinar I will share:
- the three steps to get unstuck – this means turning off the autopilot, reclaiming our power and giving our selves permission (to dream, to change, to be imperfect)
- what you need to set direction for your life on purpose this year (you need to know WHERE you are going or you won’t ever get there!)
- how to take action from a simple plan and not from overwhelm
- two ways to work with me this year for more support and accountability
- PLUS answering the attendee questions and sharing their takeaways from the webinar
- Life purpose, how to create a new habit, motivating yourself, how to let yourself dream, and more.
You can find the Life on Purpose roadmap RIGHT HERE, remember beta pricing expires on Jan 16th
And you can find the Life on Purpose academy RIGHT HERE, the winter session starts Jan 21st
Full episode transcript is available at the end of this post.
And here is the video replay if you are interested in that.
Full transcript (unedited)
Hey, friends, welcome to this podcast. I am Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and life coach from Simple on Purpose.ca And today I’m sharing with you a webinar. I just did it today. It was so much fun. So many great questions and insights were shared at the end of it. So I wanted to share it here, at least for the time being, I might take it down later. Who knows. But here it is, if you want it to be part of that webinar, but you didn’t get to it, you didn’t make space for it, whatever. Here’s the replay. It is three steps to get unstuck and living your life on purpose this year, which feels like a really hard thing, doesn’t it, it feels daunting and feels like maybe not even necessary some days. But I want to break it down for you. I want to help you keep it simple. And I want it all to come from a place that is excited and passionate and loving for you in your life because this is your life, you should enjoy it. I hope you enjoy. If at any time you have questions about it, feel free to bring them into the Facebook group, or email me or find me on Instagram at simple on purpose.ca I would love to chat more with you enjoy three steps to get unstuck. Alright, so today
we are going to talk about the three steps I have for you to get unstuck. 123. And then I’m going to talk about a couple ways to work with me. If you’re interested in support and accountability. And I’m going to take your questions, which is why you’re here. It’s why you’re on this webinar. That’s why you came live to get answers to your questions. So make take advantage of that. I’m just gonna switch things around. There we go. Alright, so you guys might know me you might not I’m assuming most of you do. Hi. My name is Shawna. I am a life coach. I am behind simple on purpose and the life on purpose Academy, also a mom of three. So a little bit about what has brought me here to talking about life on purpose is that realization I had about six years ago, my oldest my youngest is six now that I was living in kind of like the safe bubble, this really comfortable bubble all of the decisions I made in my life. They felt right, they felt safe, like the right decisions not like right, but like right, they felt like the safe ones, the comfortable ones, get the job, go to school, get the job, get married, have the kids have two cars. But really, I felt like something was missing. And even some days my life felt like a prison like, my health felt unmanageable. My marriage felt like it was falling apart. motherhood, just like overwhelming. I didn’t have a job anymore. Like I quit my career at the health inspector to be at home. And I just felt like there was constantly this other version of me out there living the life I wanted to live.
I came across this book on minimalism. And I decided to declutter my home because for the first time I realized like I could, I could get rid of all this stuff. I didn’t have to keep it and it felt like just getting permission to let go of things that weren’t true to me anymore. And that was a very emotional process. And you’ve heard me say, like, I’m crying in my basement around all these boxes, there is my basement of shame. There’s the picture right there. I felt like I was just looking at the manifestation of my life on autopilot. I had built up all of this stuff it accumulated, it was ignored, it was untended. And it was just all false security and false identity.
And it was just this reminder of how complacent I had been that everything in my life felt like it was happening on default that I was just reacting to my life that I wasn’t going where I wanted to go with it.
It was very defeating. But I moved out of that I moved out of the ugly crying in the basement to deciding I wanted to get into the driver’s seat. I just had this realization like no one else is going to do this for me that I can be that other version of me living that life. I want to live and doing things I want to do. And I got to tell you, it was hard and many of you have read it on the blog over the years. And over the years as I became trained in life coaching and I started coaching other women around the world that we know it’s hard, it’s not complicated, but it’s hard. And it’s so worth it. And really, you can start anytime like I started at home with three kids like getting puked down my bra and eating protein bars and knee deep and fishy crackers. I know I’m just knee deep in laundry all the time and you know, siblings and all that drama, but you can start anytime.
So when we talk about getting unstuck, what are we even talking about getting unstuck from we’re talking about getting unstuck from the autopilot. And if you listen to me, you’re familiar with this concept. The autopilot living how we’re constantly showing up on autopilot is happening in the back of our mind the way that we always think the habits we have the routines we have. The reactions we have like think about the reactions you have to certain people in your life or circumstances like those are still autopilot as well. Road Rage is
set on autopilot. Like that’s just the autopilot reaction you have. It’s these habits that were showing up day after day. It’s how we’re spending our time. It’s how we’re showing up. And what happens as we do this as we show up constantly. With the same ways we’ve always thought, the same ways we’ve always felt and the things we’ve always done, we just get more of the same, we’re staying in the status quo. And that’s fine if you like your status quo, but many of us feel restless. Like I know, I would feel constantly restless, just circling the kitchen sweeping and feeling like, Oh, I feel like a princess trapped in her tower. Like a underdressed Princess, that’s for sure. like something was missing. I just went to bed at the end of the night feeling totally unproductive.
That’s autopilot. The alternative is life on purpose is deciding, instead of being at this crossroads and going on the autopilot, I’m going to go somewhere, intentionally, I want to take new actions, I want to try showing up with new thoughts and new feelings, I want to do things I’ve never done to get things I’ve never had before. That is what life on purpose is. It’s about showing up each day, on purpose. So let’s talk about the first step getting unstuck. The first thing we need to do is consider where our control has gone where we have given our power to. And we all want power in our lives, right? We all want to feel in control, it feels so good. We want to feel control in our lives. But what’s happened is we’ve inadvertently given our power over to other people in other circumstances. And now we’re in a situation where we have to control other people in other circumstances in order to feel control of our lives.
Sorry, I’ve got a switch. There we go. So some areas you might have given your power over to, to others. And I mean, we’re all in a situation where we’re showing up for other people maybe in motherhood, maybe in caregiving, maybe in marriage, we are bound to one another. It’s a beautiful thing. But it sure is a balance between showing up for people serving from love, versus people pleasing, or serving from martyrdom. Another big area we give away control to is our emotions. Everything we do in a day is motivated by how we feel, or how we don’t feel. If I just like declutter my whole basement, I was feeling ready, like I was feeling energized, I was feeling ready for that. If I just you know, hang out on the couch for a whole day, I just wasn’t feeling good. I wasn’t feeling motivated, like we are acting from our emotions. And this isn’t to negate that we have tough emotions that we need to process and honor. But this is to allow ourselves to have emotions and not be controlled by our Mercy by our emotions. We’re giving our power over to our environment. I mean, you look around your house, how do you feel in it? What are you doing when your kitchen is a total disaster? I turn around and walk away, like what are you doing? What would you do differently if your kitchen was sparkling clean, and you’ve walked into it, and you’re like, I’m going to make something to eat, you would feel so different in your environment. Another place is limiting identities. And this is a concept that I named it limiting identities and might have a name, but it’s when we decide who we are and who we’re not. And we start to show up from that place. So common limiting identities are, oh, I’m not that motivated. I’m not a morning person, I’m so bad with time, I just can never be organized. Those are all rules that we decided about ourselves. And so we start to show up from that to cultural expectations. We all have a culture, maybe in our church, our community, our friend group, that is influencing us. And sometimes it’s positive. And sometimes it kind of keeps us stuck. And I think a lot about moms who want to do something on the side, moms who want to have hobbies, moms who want to try things, moms who want to I want to go train, go get trained as a yoga teacher, not necessarily to teach yoga, but because I would just really like that. But our culture tells us that we need to make money from it, or we need to be highly successful and you know, really same same, be successful make money. So we’re not doing a lot of things because we’ve given our control over to what our culture tells us is acceptable in how we spend our time and our energy. And finally, comparison, we’re all struggling with how to deal with what we see on our phone, the lives of other people how that makes us feel how we think maybe we can match a little bit of it, your life should not look like anyone else’s. And when we look at this highlight reel of what everyone else is doing, and it’s all fantastic. We are giving our control over of how we would show up for us based on how they’re showing up for them.
The next area you need to get unstuck is to give yourself permission.
If you don’t ever give yourself permission to have visions and dreams and goals and want to do something that’s meaningful to you and inspiring to you. Then you just live in this area of like what if Wouldn’t it be nice like that’s the year
I was living in, things feel okay. They feel lukewarm. permission to dream, what is holding you back from giving yourself permission to dream, dream bigger, dream bigger about your life. There’s a lot of things that hold us back like some of us, we feel like it’s frivolous or unnecessary. Some of us we’ve been burned before. Some of us have never even really like listened closely to ourselves, permission to dream, permission to change the culture. Maybe this means changing the culture and how you show up in your marriage in your family in your workplace. In order to get unstuck, we have to have permission to break out of the mold we’ve put ourselves in, and the role we’re playing for everyone else, permission to be imperfect, because how many things would you do if you weren’t waiting for the perfect conditions? How many things would you be proud of if you didn’t measure it with perfection permission to be imperfect, along with permission to be wrong, permission to try something and be wrong about it, but you still learn something so valuable. All of this requires you to be brave. This is scary, right? This is scary stuff to think about stepping into these big dreams, these big desires you have in your life. being brave. changing something in your life is wildly uncomfortable, that requires bravery. But who else is going to be brave with your life.
So we’re getting unstuck, we’re taking back control, we’re giving ourselves permission. Now we need to know where to steer the ship, we need to get direction,
I need to get a drink of water.
We think that we can just like print a checklist offline and follow that direction. But real true direction in your life for you means listening to yourself. It means listening to yourself more closely. Because Have you stopped listening to yourself, have you stopped listening to those things that light you up with things that energize you those things that feel big and exciting and inspiring, even if they’re simple little things? Have you stopped listening to yourself and be tuned yourself out over the years, it’s time to start the process of tuning back in tuning back in and listening to yourself. And that means knowing two things, knowing who you want to be how you want to show up, and knowing where you want to go. And I’m going to run through these two right now.
knowing who you want to be your values, the way you want to show up in the world. Those things that feel like the inner integrity, the inner qualities of who you are, excuse me, I talk a lot about the nine areas of our life. And I like to set values for each of these nine areas, you can also just set values generally for your life. But when it comes to something like parenting, I have the value of peace, I want to bring peace into my parenting, or marriage, I have the value of fun, I want to bring fun into my marriage, or dedication, I want to bring dedication into my work. And when I don’t live in line with those values when I am not being a peaceful parent when I am yelling, and like totally in the red zone and just like destroying all of the happiness around me and all of the peace. I don’t feel good when I am showing up in my marriage. And it’s a power struggle. And it’s not even fun anymore. I don’t feel good. Because when we aren’t living in line with our values, we feel gross. That’s the that’s the word word. The technical term is cognitive dissonance like this is what I want to do, ideally, and this is what I’m doing. And all of this in between it feels like tension, it feels uncomfortable. And now we have two problems. We feel uncomfortable about how we showed up. And we’re not showing up how we want to be living in line with your values. It feels authentic, it feels energizing. But many of us are disconnected from our values. And I think the biggest reason why is we are living from values that have been handed down to us over the years. It’s how we’ve been raised by our parents by our community. And we might get to a point where we’re realizing maybe I’ve been raised with this value of productivity, it was drilled into me always be productive, you know, even get a second job and any rest, any downtime. It has to be productive somehow, like you should be knitting while you’re watching TV, you should be folding laundry while you’re watching TV. So productive, productive. But maybe that’s not my highest value right now, at this point in my life, maybe it’s community, we have to allow ourselves to withdraw a little bit from productivity in order to make space for this other value. That feels very authentic, very energizing that that requires a lot of bravery. And maybe we’re disconnected from our values because we’re in a whole new season. And we’ve lost touch with them. And I definitely felt like this. When I had left my career, my my job, my lifestyle, to be at home with kids. Now I had to really go back to the drawing board and decide what are my values now that this whole, this whole way that I get to show up every day is different
values and then vision knowing where you want to go
This is something you should do before you set goals. Because if you’re just going to go and say I want to change my life, I’m going to set goals, you’re going to be setting that should do goals, like I should save more money, I should go vegan, I should run every day. Because this is what people do. This is how people live a good life. And what you’re doing is you’re setting should goals, that keeps you busy. But you’re not necessarily feeling fulfilled, you’re not moving towards that vision you have for your life. And I like to break down and sending vision for all nine areas of your life. And we all have it, we all have this big vision and it feels expansive, and it feels empowering. One of the visions I have for my marriage is that and I looked back in some that we’ve grown over the past few years, is to have a marriage that is loving and passionate and playful. And I gave it this little motto that we’re like cop buddies, but sexier.
Maybe some days we get there, I definitely feel like good cop, bad cop is something we do every day with the kids. But I have this vision for my marriage, I have a vision for my parenting, like I want to be present and proactive. I want to be a safe place as a mom, for my kids to make mistakes. I want it to be fun, I want to really encourage who they are underneath. Everything that everyone tells them they have to be. Those are my visions, and I have visions for my finances and my work in my home. This vision and forums like where I want to step into where I want to go. It’s my destination. And it feels inspiring. It feels like something I crave to step into. And this is why you set a vision before your goals. Because now I’m going to set goals that move me towards that vision that are going to take me in this meaningful place. And I need we all need this vision we need to know where we want to go. Because if we don’t know where we want to go, we’ll we’ll just never get there. Right.
And the final step is to take action. What good is all of this work? Is all of this conversation is all of this, this bravery and listening to yourself and getting some goals? What good is it if you don’t put it into action because what you do your actions, what you don’t do, they are what create your results. They are what give you an outcome. everything that’s happening for me today, the result of my life today is a direct correlation to the actions I have taken yesterday, last week. Last month last year actions create your results. And this is the part that I get emailed about this is the part I coach on. I call this the work because it requires so much work to be an action taker to keep showing up to keep redirecting yourself to doing the emotional the mental work, the physical work, it requires a lot of grit and grace. And so right right there, it just feels overwhelming, right? So I want to take kind of the overwhelm out of this, and break it down for you and help you make a plan. So let’s go through a little bit of a plan.
Make a plan. So considering your vision, and your values, this is your why this is motivating you. This is why you’re doing these things. This is why you’re going to set goals. This is why you’re going to set that habit. Considering your vision and your values I want you to pick for this year, we’re going to start so small, you can change it as you go along. But let’s start with one. One goal to work towards What’s one project. One Goal like there’s we’ve reached the finish line and then it’s done. A goal is just one thing, what’s one goal you could set. And I encourage you to think about a goal that requires you to step into your brave zone, like out of the comfort zone into the brave zone, not the panic zone, which is over here. But the Braves zone, it feels a bit bigger. It feels like it’s going to challenge you. And one habit that’s going to make your life better, you can pick a habit to stop or a habit to start and make sure you’re considering your vision and values. Like if you have the vision for health, of nurturing natural movement, being outside in nature, being flexible. Don’t decide to create a habit of going to CrossFit classes like that will not feel energizing and empowering to you. If you want to have a vision of creating more time or a value of connection with your kids, maybe a habit is regular dates, maybe there’s a really fun family goal of like a bucket list thing you could do. Your y matters, your y is going to inform your what. And then the next step that I would take when you’ve written down, you know, just brain dump some ideas and pick one goal and habit, get specific, because specificity can help us measure where we want to go. So often I’ll be coaching someone and they’ll be like, well, I want to be healthier this year. And you know, I don’t really know what that’s gonna look like but I want to do it. And then we kind of beat ourselves up but we’re not doing it because we haven’t been specific on what we’re trying to do. So if you want to be healthier this year, consider your vision. Consider your values. Pick a habit. Maybe your habit is
Drink more water. All right, let’s get specific. What is that going to look like? How much how often when? Maybe you want to spend more time with your kids? Well, let’s get specific. Let’s know how we want to measure that. What are we going to be doing with our kids? How often are we going to be doing that? Really, the goal here is to consider the progress that you want to make consider the progress over perfection. So getting specific and keeping it simple. One more drink of water.
Focusing on the progress means not overdoing it, not deciding, like, I’m just going to change this whole habit, overhaul my whole life. Like I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried to become a morning person. Because I’ve decided that it had to look like 100% I wake up at this time I do these seven things. And then my kids wake up. And you know, like all of the things. Don’t overdo it. Like if I want to eat vegetables, every single meal of every single day, I’m going to start with one meal every few days. If I want to stop sitting up so late watching TV, I’m going to go to bed 15 minutes earlier, instead of the two hours like I tell myself, I should.
And the last step here is to show up and do the work, do the work of showing up for your goal and for your habit. And yes, this sounds small, it sounds simple. Focusing on these two things in your whole year. maybe consider it for the next three months, I’m going to focus on these two things. There is power in this when we focus on one thing at a time. So often someone comes to me and they’re like, I want to get up early, I want to do some devotions, I want to do exercise every day. And then I want to go to work and be super focused and eat a healthy lunch. And then I want to come home and be so present with my kids. There’s a lot on their list. And what happens is now you’re spread really thin. But when we can zone in on, what’s the one thing that we’re going to focus in on right now and work on, you get commitment, you feel more energized, because you can focus in your energy on one thing. And what’s happening is you are learning the scale is right where you are, you’re learning how to do the thing. I liken it to like, We don’t expect our kids to go through grades 456, and seven all at once. We want them to stay in grade four, we want them to stay where they are, keep learning, keep practicing. And they are so confident at the end of the year. If they went back and did grade four again, they’d be like, easy, this is fine. You get to become confident from doing the work. And make that work simple for yourself. What’s going to happen is you’re going to challenge who you tell yourself you are, you’re going to challenge where you’ve given over your power to. And ultimately you’re going to let go of all the rules you have around how this has to look that all or nothing thinking, if I can spend an hour at a gym, what good is a 10 minute workout, you’re going to learn that when you have that destination. There’s lots of roads that can get you there.
So I want you to consider your future self, your future self? Where is she? What is she doing?
If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’re going to get what you’ve always got. I had a client a few years ago that talked about her future self and this really dreamy way. Like she’s eating healthy, she’s making good decisions, she’s making time for her kids. She’s making time for herself, she’s paying attention to the things that mattered to her. Because she couldn’t see that what her future self has, is whatever she gives her right now, you need to start providing for your future self. Now, it’s not like this magical time just opens up. It’s not like this magical amount of energy just opens up and desire. All of that has to be eased into and taught and practiced, so that your future self has at birth. So it’s easy for your future self.
I don’t want you to feel like you have to overhaul your whole life. I years ago, and you probably heard me say this, I wrote on my chalkboard do one thing today, your future self will thank you for. And that was so simple. It was like drinking a glass of water and reading a chapter of a book. And you know what I started to think, in my day, oh, I did something that day for my future self. And I started to view myself as someone who invests in her future self. And I started to look for all the little ways that I could take a simple action for my future self. They were small, but they were meaningful things that I did consistently and with love because I don’t want to make this whole thing. Heavy and shame based. I want to pay attention to all of the areas of my life and all of the little ways that I could show up that are meaningful and sharp and enjoy the process.
So if this is something that you were thinking about this year, and you want support on it, I’m going to tell you two quick ways that you can work with me and then we’re going to go into questions. The first one is the life on purpose roadmap. This is a brand new course. It comes out next year.
Monday, like making me sweat thinking about it, it is a self paced course with audio and video lessons. And those audio lessons allow you to just listen on the go, if you want to treat it like it is a podcast, you can do that, and worksheets that are going to guide you along all of this work. And what’s happening in that program is I’m going to be coaching you. With coaching concepts. It’s not a live program, but I’m going to offer you coaching concepts that are going to walk you through the steps of taking back control of the things that you actually can control, not perceived control, but like actual control, giving yourself permission, knowing who you are. So we’re going to challenge those values, those outdated values, knowing where you want to go. It sounds like setting a vision for all the nine areas of your life should be simple. But we get into a lot of thought traps that kind of keep us stuck there. Life management is a big part of this, because I want you to remove the drains and distractions that keep you from showing up for the life that you want. So there is a big focus on managing our time managing our stress, which is a form of energy, and setting up our space for success. How to Plan so many of us are like if I just find the right planner, then like all of them like that’s how I was, if I can find the right planner, then I can just like be someone who plans their life and does what’s on the plan. But it’s not that simple. And there are so many different ways that you can plan. So you want to find the one that works for you. How to be an action taker for years, I told myself, I didn’t have enough willpower. I wasn’t disciplined enough. I wasn’t motivated enough. So I was searching for the key to those How do I just be more disciplined? How do I just use more willpower. So I want to bust the myth about willpower. And I want to teach you how to motivate yourself in empowering positive ways. Instead of more shame, more, hustle more should do more all or nothing thinking. And that program wraps up with how to get unstuck because we all get stuck, we all get distracted. We all find ourselves procrastinating and drifting away. And I want to offer you quick shifts that you can make that are going to get you unstuck.
This program is about taking back your power. Like I said, removing the distractions and not giving over control to all of these areas in our life where it’s just false control. We think that we’re in control, but we’re not in control of other people and other situations. I’m going to meet you there.
I want you to step into the driver’s seat of your life. It’s time to listen to yourself, it’s time to get excited, it’s time to think about that version of you living that life that you want. And saying yeah, I’m going to do someone that I’m going to be her and taking action that’s not led by stress and default living and being reactive and just feeling like a victim of your life, I felt all those things.
So in this program, it is out this week. And because it is brand new, there is beta pricing, it is $100 off until Saturday. And as part of that there is a 50% discount to the life on purpose Academy. And I’m going to let you know what that is as well. The life on purpose Academy is a group coaching program. And I’ve been running it since last March. I know many of the women in it are on this call. And I hope to see you in the chat in a second here, weekly group coaching calls and I’m changing it a bit. Now this year, we’re going to do 10 weeks sessions. So the winter session is starting next week. And you can come and you can get coached on any topic. There is a lot of power in this. Because so often we’re like, well, I just need someone to give me the checklist on how to do the work. But then we get stuck, right. And then we get into hurdles. And that’s where we need support. We need support that’s customized to our unique challenges to our unique hurdles to our questions. And the power in listening to other people get coached. Like I said, it’s group coaching. So you’re going to hear other people get coached. There’s so much power in that I’m part of a group coaching program myself. And I watch how other people’s lives and brains and, and thought patterns and behaviors are unpacked. And I can see that in myself. I can see it reflected in myself. It’s so powerful. And I think most of all, what I’ve seen over this past year is the support the support in like, yeah, I’m coming every week. It’s like personal development, gym membership for my life. But it’s also the support of the women who are on the call being like, Yeah, me too. I struggle with this too. So that’s the Academy. These are some of the things that the members in this past year have had to say about the Academy.
And I really think a big part of this is sometimes we just don’t need more information. Sometimes we need support and accountability and consistency, to keep us taking action.
Show up for your life with peace, purpose and presence that had been the motto of the life on purpose Academy for since I started it last year. And I would add to that passion, passion because this is your life and you should enjoy it. You should get excited about it this way
Hear this mission, show up for your life with peace, purpose, presence, and passion is my mission, it’s in everything I do in everything I share is to help you do this. And if you want to take it further this year, then I encourage you to invest in it. And it doesn’t have to be with me any way that you can start putting energy into this and time into this, it’s gonna be worth it. So you have those ways to work with me the roadmap, the Academy, always private coaching, no matter what you do, I just hope you do something.
Because your life matters, because you matter. And there’s things inside of you, that matter to you, that would light you up that you’re interested in. And you don’t need to know how you’re going to do it. You don’t even need to know exactly what you’re going to do. But you need to give yourself the opportunity, the space to start figuring out, you need to be willing to be uncomfortable. To spend time on this, you need to be willing to be a little bit more brave to step out of your comfort zone into your brave zone. So that when it feels hard when you feel like you’re going to fail that you can still love yourself through that process. And remember, it’s always about progress. It’s not about perfection.
I’m going to shut down this screen, I want to take your questions, I’m going to read through the chat. And I want to hear any takeaway that you have had from this that has helped you anything that you’re going to take into your week that has helped you think a little bit differently or craved showing up for your life differently this year on
the roadmap cost, thanks for that it is $100 off. And right now the roadmap is 197. And when you listen, yet you can listen again later for sure I’ll send out the replay.
So when you if you want to do their life on purpose or about when you are checking out, there is an opportunity to get the life on purpose Academy at 50% off actually requires a lot of grit and grace. It sure does is disappointing a Why can’t it just be easy? I spent a lot of time googling how to make it easier.
Turns out you just have to do the hard work and
thanks for that ladies. And hate all of the ladies that have been in the life on purpose Academy this past year. I see you guys on there. So nice to see you. I’ve never been a dreamer. What’s a good way to start? I think this is can be really common, especially if it was something never really nurtured in us throughout the years. And I would really assess what about dreaming feels unnecessary to me, or far away from me. Does it feel childish? Does it feel frivolous? Does it feel scary? Like, am I allowed to dream, this is a really exciting time to put yourself in the place if I was a dreamer. And if I did have a dream for my life, what is just like one little thing it would include. You don’t have to you don’t have to find out your life purpose. Right away. You don’t have to know your big life dreams right away. When I started doing all this work about six years ago, we wrote down any goals we had for the year and the things we wanted to do with our kids. And as I showed up for the little things that were within my reach within, like, my mental reach to like this is as far as I could dream. And that was a stretch, right? Like just stretching into that. And as I’ve done that, it’s just moved more and more along the way. It’s been a journey, right? It’s super cheesy, but really has been a journey.
I need to find out the purpose for my life, what is the most important to me? Yeah, that can be like a lot of pressure.
To feel like I have to find the purpose for my life that can feel really overwhelming. So I can see how that would be an overwhelming thing to think about.
I don’t think that there’s just one thing that there’s just one purpose that our whole life is geared towards this one thing, I believe it’s a journey of trying the little things that we are feeling led to do that is in our heart that is rooted in us that we’ve even if you have a faith background that you feel like you’re being called to do. What we’re how we’re called to show up is in line with our values is in line with who we were made to be. The first thing that I would encourage you to do is consider your personal values focus on your values. What is important to me in how I show up in my job, what’s important to me and how I show up in motherhood that informs your purpose. Your values inform your purpose.
I need to address self sabotaging roadblocks. My lack of motivation over the long run. Yes, we get in our own way. We definitely get in our own way. We get stuck in a lot of thought traps. We we are mean to how we talk to ourselves, right? We lack this motivation because we’re not talking very kind to ourselves, or we’re expecting perfectionism this all or nothing thinking is really overwhelming. It does not motivate us. If there’s any specific ones you want to talk about, throw them on in there.
My takeaway is to take action. I have enough
information to do the work. That’s great. So simple. That’s why we’re here. Mission accomplished. I feel proud of you Good job.
roadblocks, like does this really matter? But it does.
So you’ve asked, your brain has this question, right? your brains like, does it really matter? I want you, instead of being like, does this really matter to be like, does this really matter? When your brain is asking that question? I want you to take that question seriously. You know, that, like, why am I even doing this? No, really? Why? Why am I doing this? So does this really matter? And you know, it does. So you’re like, yes. Now let’s take it a step further. Why does this matter? This is going to help you instead of using this against you to demotivate you, it’s going to help inspire you now, get back to your why your why matters. Those are fun questions, guys. I would like to stretch your presence into my daily routine, like taking time to savor my children for a few minutes sprinkled through the day, do you have some suggestions? And you’re so tired? No,
no, that’s not a poor question at all. When I want to bring something into my daily routine, what we need our prompts, right, it doesn’t come naturally to us the way that we’ve just kind of been living on defaults, that has set up its own habits. So we need to disrupt that we need to put in prompts for ourselves. And what I would do with that one is I would set timers on my phone, I use my phone countless times in a day to just pop up a reminder, like breathe. Because Lately, I’ve been forgetting to really breathe. And it sounds ridiculous. Like I’m a 38 year old woman who needs reminders in her phone to breathe. But we do we want to change our habits, let’s use everything available to us. So that’s what I would do, I would put it in your phone, start with like, two times a day, where you are going to sit and you’re going to savor your children. And I would write out even a list of ways that you can do that. What are ways that I want to savor my kids that I want to just like be in their presence? Write out a list so that when that timer goes off, you don’t like okay, now what do I do? Like how do I? Do I just sit like, What do I do? You want to have something to go to that you’ve already thought about otherwise, that timer goes off, you’re not really sure you feel like oh, I’m just going to try and figure it out. And this is not going to be a process where you’re actually showing up in line with your values where you’re actually moving in a habit formation that is meaningful to you.
prompts, prompts, prompts, how do I motivate myself to start decluttering? Okay, if you want to put in there something that feels demotivating right now that then I can really help you answer that question.
Because there’s lots of reasons why we’re not motivated to declutter, I don’t know where to start caring for family members have a farm health care worker, I can’t find time for myself, much less thinking about it.
caregivers, caregivers, right. caregivers are giving so much of themselves to care for other people. And I would just encourage you that if you are someone who cares for the people, that you need to care for yourself as well, you know that saying we can’t pour from an empty cup. So instead of constantly telling yourself, I can’t time find time for myself, that’s just now a rule that your brain is going to follow to the tee cap on time kept by time, you’re going to constantly feel like how does that make you feel? I can’t find time for myself, probably makes you feel defeated? And then how do you show up when you feel defeated?
Something that’s gonna loosen that up a little bit and be a little bit more empowering is I can find five minutes today. Even if you’re alone in the bathroom for five minutes. I mean, as a mom, that’s how I feel like that bathroom time is my time. Guys, door’s locked. I can find five minutes today, that’s just going to loosen up that all or nothing thinking about time for you.
And then what do you want to do with that five minutes? Do you want to read something? Do you want to put your headphones in and listen to some really great music? Do you want to write how you’re feeling? Do you want to drink a glass of water out in the sunshine like you can spend five minutes on yourself today. And then we’re going to work it a little bit ways up. Make it easy like dinner in the freezer. Give me more freezer dinners, please.
When you work through the workbook, and it’s helped you set some intentions for small chunks of the year, instead of setting yearly intentions or work for the year this year setting monthly focuses so great and using the vision I have set up in the workbook. Having some focus on myself in a way that I can have measurable change doesn’t feel so daunting now.
I love that breaking it down, right? You don’t have to overhaul your life, that workbook goes through nine areas of your life. And the goal isn’t to bring all nine areas of your life up to 100% in the next month, three months, even a year, right. Like I’ve been doing this work for six years and there’s still parts of my life where I know that I’m not like I’m still that’s the area that I need to focus on next. Like now I need to move to this area. So breaking it down. I love the idea of monthly focuses. That’s
Something I’ve done as well.
I would work on changing one habit a month I called it one simple habit or one small thing. I don’t know, it was years ago. But there’s a lot of power in that because that was my mission for the month. It wasn’t changing all the things and all areas of my life. It was that one thing.
Good job TV.
This month is focusing on the rest. Yes.
Now you’re having a baby in February. Yes, the rest, rest, it is essential, all of us so great. Get all the rest you can especially after Christmas season right?
I think that the encouragement to look at the progress and makes me kinder to myself, aka looking at the past 10 days and how I’ve not shown up for my physical activity goal, yet I have majorly shown up for my goal of actually taking action in my marriage. That’s so beautiful, right? Especially when we beat ourselves up for not like, Oh, I didn’t make that goal happen. But honoring that we still did things that were meaningful to us in this time. You can’t tell yourself you’ve failed when you’ve actually succeeded in another area of your life that’s really valuable to you and meaningful to you.
Thanks for sharing that. No bullies allowed no inner bullies allowed that is for sure.
Usually, I don’t get to spend as much time in the chat. This is fun, guys. Usually we’re doing coaching calls. And I’m talking to you guys. And then I look at the chat after and I read through it. This is fun.
All right, guys, we’re gonna wrap it up there. Feel free to throw in questions, though. I’m not going anywhere. If you have any questions about the roadmap, the Academy, if you have any questions about setting goals, setting habits, I love this encouragement you guys have brought to us like I’m going to break it down, I’m going to be more loving to myself. I’m going to focus in on what matters. I’m gonna make it simple. I’m going to set timers, I’m going to start reminding myself and bringing that top of mind. Karen, if you want to talk more about decluttering, feel free to throw anything in the chat there.
Oh, this is such a good point, Lisa, that it’s such a good point, Julia. Also, hello. I would never condone any other forms of bullying it. That’s exactly how I treat myself. You know how when your kids are disappointed in themselves, or your girlfriend, or anybody and they’re like, I can’t believe I did that. I’m such an idiot. And you’re like, no, you’re not an idiot. Everyone makes mistakes. You know how you talk to them in that voice? That’s how we need to talk to ourselves more. Like when I do something, and I’m like, Oh, so Oh, man, I’m the worst. I need to talk to myself in that same loving, motherly, like best friend kind of voice.
Thanks for that, guys.
So many people are good at loving others and encouraging others but not doing it for ourselves. It’s so strange, isn’t it? Why don’t we think that we can be loving and encouraging with ourselves? How do I get out of the paralysis of realizing that past actions or more correctly in actions?
I’ve created the current me. I think that awareness is just powerful. When you sit and you look at your life, and you’re like, Okay, when I had poor health and a basement full of clutter, and my marriage was like, falling apart. That was the gross realization I had in the basement that was part of the tears is realizing like, of course I have poor health I didn’t I’ve done nothing to take care of it other than eating protein, and living off coffees. Of course, my marriage is suffering because I’m Loki angry at my husband all the time. And I resent him for everything and leaving me with these kids like, of course, this is where I am like it makes sense. Now, of course, I’m the problem
is really disappointing. But let that be empowering. Like if all of my decisions have gotten me to here. Really the most part, what I’ve done and not done has gotten me here. Well, now I have the power to do something different. It’s in your hands. You get to decide the actions you take and the actions you don’t take. Stop giving away your control to other things and other people, you get to decide your actions will create your results. If you want different results, you need to take different actions.
low key angry is a mood.
It’s kind of the most relatable feeling I can give to other moms out there. Hey.
Well, you guys have been so much fun today. I’ve really enjoyed seeing what you had to write. I enjoy seeing your faces here or your names here. I recognize so many of your names from people who read the emails and email me from time to time from women in the programs of the coaching program. So I really love being here with you guys. And feel free to email me. You guys all know how to reach me You all know where to find me. I would love to answer questions you have along the way. And I’ll be sending out the replay. So if you felt like you missed something or you want to share it with a friend Absolutely. Feel free to do that.
Alright ladies, I’m gonna sign off. Thanks so much for joining in today.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai