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63. Why it is hard to enjoy the simple pleasures of life, and what to do about it

We know there is power in enjoying the simple components that make up our day to day life. When we can enjoy these simple things, we have so much more ability to enjoy our actual life.

But often the ‘shine wears off’ and the things/people/experiences we wanted and enjoyed fall flat. That happiness we experienced is gone.

From a life coaching point of view, it is because we still bring our brain with us wherever we go. Our brain, and all it’s thoughts and stories and autopilot and subconscious thinking. That brain is still there thinking it’s thoughts and those thoughts create our emotional experience. 

However, when we feel like this isn’t normal. We tell ourselves, ‘I thought this would make me happy, why am I not happy?’ It can cause us to think something is wrong with us, or our lives, or the people in our lives. But now it’s time to lay that story to rest. 

The hurdle to enjoying the simple pleasures of life is that we all return to this baseline, emotionally speaking.

The shine does wear off. But it is normal and sometimes even useful. 

We have the ability to enjoy the simple pleasures of our life, we have felt it happen. Mostly when we didn’t concoct it or plan it.  It happens more easily when we practice hygge, coziness, connectedness and contentment. 

But, there can be some thought traps that prevent us from GIVING OURSELVES PERMISSION to enjoy the simple pleasures in our life. 

A big thought trap feeling like you can’t approve of your life. This is the situation where you say ‘if I enjoy this, then I am basically saying I approve of it, but how can I approve of something I want to change?”

However, acceptance is the first step to contentment. 

The steps to shift back into enjoyment when the shine wears off:

  1. variety, do the same thing in a new way
  2. appreciation, Oprah and science agree

A problem we have with showing appreciation is it can sometimes be misconstrued as naivety. But finding appreciation is still seeing the VALUE in things/people/experiences

We have this underlying program that says ‘if my enjoyment is gone, the value is gone’ and then we treat it as so. 

Side note: if you are decluttering your home, I encourage you to keep doing this. Simplifying your space is a way of honouring the value of things and your space. 

It all started with a bar of soap, making a conscious effort to appreciate this soap every single time I used it. 

If we can do this with soap, imagine how much enjoyment we can savour from our actual lives. 

 

LINKS

Read the blog post version of this episode (right here)

The study on variety and appreciation (read it)

Hygge Episode 38 (listen to it)

Life on Purpose Academy (learn more)

The all or nothing webinar (RSVP here)

 

 

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