Scene: Mr and I are talking over the incessant singing/yelling of our 30 month old son
Me: At what age is it considered funny, and not abuse, to duct tape your kids mouth shut?
Mr: As long as it’s just the mouth and not the nose I think it’s ok
Scene: I lost another round of Rock Paper Scissors, and when I try to get out of the chore the hubby says to snap to it (house rules!)
Mr. You need to get on it.
Me: You don’t tell me what to do!
Silent stares at each other
Me: Rock Paper Scissors tells me what to do
We’ve all done it, pretend NOT to notice the poppy diaper and wait for the spouse to. Came up from laundry and husband was holding LJ who had clearly shaat through her pants. He wanted to play#rockpaperscissors House Rules, when challenged you MUST play. No outs, no substitutes. He lost and got a whack of my side eye about him waiting for me to finish laundry. Some call it karma I call it ‘smirk at you and instagram you’ #rockpaperscissors #diaperduty #husbandsandwives #wearematureadults#butnotreally
Scene: We went to bed way too late and were both laying awake
Mr: I can’t fall asleep
Me: We could talk about our feelings. That always seems to help you fall asleep
[But so does starfishing on his back and breathing through his mouth like Darth Vader……so he did that instead]
Scene: Mr. comments on (his) recent scale weigh-in
Me: Well you know what they say, don’t look at the number on the scale. You count the number of dolla bills in you waist band at the end of the night to know how hawt you look
[Disclaimer: don’t mix cold meds and espresso – or you become Mrs. Sassy Pants aka Latisha]
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